Welcome back Bernadine, you've been missed so very, very, very much!

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve blogged, for the most part because I was a little fearful that so many things were going on and Bernadine might go a bit too far in reading people for their crazy actions. Well, I’ve missed the writing so much that I just can’t stop doing what I do best, right?

And I must say, if I’ve ever seemed like a bitch, this blog is going to make me seem like an absolute asshole to some people! Now I would apologize in advance, but as Mama always said, “Once you get to be a certain age, and have so much life under your belt, never apologize for anything you say – you’ve earned it!”
So, here goes.

Crazy is as crazy does

There’s this guy who hangs around Asbury Park every now and again, and most people might know who I’m talking about if I say the word “jukebox junkie.” He always plays the jukebox, and forces everyone to listen to his type of music. Some bartenders just can’t take it, and to be honest, some patrons as well.

Now this guy is a good person and he’s alright, but you just never know what you’ll get from him or how he will act in a situation.

So a couple of months ago, this person tried to get into an altercation with me (or should I say Bernadine) about the jukebox, and once all was said and done, Bernadine won. So this person not only cut off all connection with myself, but my good friends as well. To be honest, I wasn’t upset. In fact, I was slightly relieved.
Well all of a sudden, he’s back and acting as if nothing ever happened! He talks to us like the last couple of months were some sort of dream and he’s picked up like nothing has changed.  It creeps me out a little – hell, a lot. I have no idea what to make of it all. So I try to steer clear of him as much as I can.
People are just weird sometimes!

We miss you Christy

As many in the community already know, Georgie’s drag superstar Christy Girlington decided to not continue her Classic Drag Show at the bar a couple of months ago. There’s a distinct reason that Christy is one of my favorite drag queens … she not only entices the audience with her slapstick comedy, but she puts on a damn good show.
She enlists great drag performers to strut their stuff on the stage. She makes the crowd feel like they are a part of the action. And she will read us bitches in the crowd and actually make us laugh at ourselves.
Christy will be missed, and I’m just that sort of patron who likes to watch the drag shows that aren’t the ordinary. Christy has been replaced by former Miss Paradise, The LadyMarisa, a talented performer in her own right.
Okay, I’m just going to say to check out her performance for yourselves. Now as for me, for someone who likes the type of drag performance that Christy brings to the stage, I don’t want to see the drag at Georgie’s become just like all the other drag shows around Asbury Park.
I’m not saying that it will; I’m just saying that I want to see a little more. So I’m hoping that The LadyMarisa will bring us a little more than what we see at the other places. Actually I’m hoping that we still get to see some “KiKi for the Coin”, a little lip synching for their lives to see who wins the night.
Let’s just hope we get more than the norm. I’m sure she can do it. And speaking of performances …

Put in your dues

When I started my career life in the world of journalism, I started at the bottom. I started as a reporter, then investigative journalist, then copy editor, then graphic designer, then associate editor, then night desk editor, then digital editor, to news editor.
In brief, I put in my dues.
There have been a number of performers, artists, writers, etc. who have just started in their craft and then (PUFF) – instant stardom. The only problem is – some people like to see the path that some performers take. It’s so interesting; it makes the performer more enticing for the audience. We root for them.
When a performer seems to have the expected rationale to feel like they have the ability to catapult past all those who have climbed the ladder – step by step – and put in their dues, it leaves a sour taste in some people’s mouths.
All Bernadine is saying is that make sure to climb that ladder – step by step – so your audience will root for you and give you much more support in the community. It will pay in deuces in the long run. But that’s just one person’s opinion … no, actually, that is a lot of people’s opinions. I just said it.

Word of caution – date in your generation

I’ve been a guilty person of this very crime in the recent past. I’ve had the distinct honor of falling into this trap. But as of late, I’ve come to the realization that it just doesn’t work out in the long run.
It’s funny – my Mama used to make sure that I always knew that if I tried to date someone who wasn’t a part of my generation, it wouldn’t work out. I miss her so very much, if for no other reason, than her keen knowledge that she knows me inside and out.
Now to clear it up, when I say dating in your generation, I don’t mean to date someone your own age. Not at all. What I mean by that phrase, courtesy of Mama, is that you can date someone not in your age category. A guy 50 years old can date someone in their late 20s, early 30s. That's not what I’m saying.
What I’m saying, when referring to generation, is the same mindset. For me, I will give up my seat to an elderly woman. So I need to date someone who will do the same. For me, I ask a person out on a date or some event. So I need someone in my life who will not only do that, but will also follow up if they are asked. If they wait too long, I lose interest. Time is of the essence with me, and life is too short to dilly-dally around. For me, I put others’ needs above myself. So I need to date someone who does the same.
That’s the “generation” to which I refer. I just don’t know why I’ve forgotten that. That’s me! I never settle. But I’ve done that in past years just to have someone near me. Mama drilled self-respect into my being, into my self-esteem. When she passed away, it seemed to be as if I’d forgotten that part of me. Suddenly, it has become clear all over again.
I guess because of events such as the prom, I’ve let Mama’s knowledge about myself, the man that I am and have always been, fall by the wayside. After all, who wants to attend a huge event solo? But it’s okay … my brain is working again. This weekend I had a dream where she told me “Stop chasing guys who just can’t keep up with YOU!” Thanks Mama, message received!

2^nd Annual Pink Prom

Speaking of the prom, the fundraising event of the season will take place Friday, May 2^nd. Tickets are $75 each and go on sale March 1^st. A blog will be forthcoming in a few days.
Details about the prom can be viewed at the following Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/1456540244569037/
But courtesy of myself and Ryan Jimenez, general manager of the Hotel Tides Restaurant & Spa, we will be giving away free tickets to the prom this Thursday at The LadyMarisa’s “Glitter and Glam” drag show at Georgie’s, the premiere of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Season 6 viewing party at Hotel Tides on Monday, Feb, 24^th, and at Stephanie Hunnell and Peter James Calafiore’s fundraising event “Charity Begins at Home @ Cameo” on Sunday, Feb. 23^rd.

Center of attentions need not apply

I love to be the life of the party. Who doesn't?
But one type of guy who is never a match for this guy would be those who just have, just must be the center of attention. I've seen a couple of those guys out and about, and rest assured, I lose interest fast!
Those people don't get too far with me. In a crowded room, with a wide array of people who know me and who I love to interact, if someone ever needs for Bernadine to pay all attention to them ... safe to say, that's not gonna happen. And plus, I wouldn't want the guy to treat me like I was the only one in the room. To be honest, for me, it gets to be way too much.

Oh, and by the way ... Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Just consider this my Valentine's gift to you all!

My grown-up Christmas wish

Since it's the holiday season, I figured I'd offer you a holiday-themed blog.
The only thing is, I just am not in the holiday spirit and didn't want to write about anything happening this season.
But speaking to a close friend, she suggested that writing about it may make things a bit better for me.
I haven't really celebrated the holiday season for the past couple of years since my heart, my Mama, passed away. This was her season; she just loved the holidays. Of course, she'd always make sure the family got together; even if I had to work the holiday, I was just so excited to take the trek back to my hometown to see her.
When she passed, I just didn't see any need to celebrate her favorite time of the year. I woke up this morning with the uncanny thought that I need to do something to get into the spirit of the holiday.
And one thing my Mama always drilled into my head was that I can only get what I truly want for Christmas if I say it out loud. Well, although this is going to be a bit embarassing to admit, but I guess if I want to actually get it, I must express it.
I'm going to share my grown-up Christmas wish with you.
The wish that I've had for some time now, and I am very hopeful that this year I finally get it, is to have the man of my dreams, who actually wants a true-blood relationship with me, to come to my door on Christmas morning and surprise me with a mistletoe over his head and give me the grandest, most passionate kiss I've ever received.
Okay, now you know my Christmas wish. It sounds crazy, I know. Plus, it's not like that will ever happen ... those fairytales never come true for guys like me ~ the forever Charlottes and Pollyannas who still believe in fairytale endings.
But as I look around the community, I see people uniting, falling into relationship left and right. Some, I'm surprised to see the union; others, I'm just happy because they deserve happiness. And I deserve it, too.
So I've been trying my damndest to smile and laugh; it's better to make sure others have a great holiday season no matter how I may feel inside.
I know that I won't be getting my one Christmas wish, which would be to celebrate the holiday with my Mama, just once more. But maybe if I get my other wish, the mistletoed man who I just adore, perhaps I can truly believe in the spirit of the season again.
But to end this blog, I just want to wish everyone the best holiday season that they can possibly have!

People, take responsibility for your actions and stop the whining!

I'm not one to usually judge a person, mainly because every person has traveled their own personal paths in life and no one knows what another person is all about. But as a successful media reporter, we always need to put the facts (allegedly as it may seem) out there, report the news and let the audience draw their own conclusions.
So that's what I'm going to do.
A few of my friends and I went to a local eatery early Saturday morning at approximately 2:10 a.m. We sat down at our booth and ordered some food. There was another group of individuals in the same eatery at another table. I didn't really know any of them, except maybe a brief hello to a couple of them in the past. We were minding our own business, and they were minding their own business.
Approximately an hour later, the group of guys at the other table left the eatery. A few minutes later, as we were asking for our check, the waitress innocently mentioned that she was a bit surprised that the guys only left her $1 as a tip, but, as she said, "I'm not going to complain, it's no big deal".
Now my group of friends are the type of people who not only would feel bad that this would ever happen, but we are the type of people who work in the service industry - me as a bartender - and would do our best to compensate for another table's alleged foul actions. So we decided to make her day and leave her three times the amount of our tip.
Now I'm not accusing anyone of stiffing a server; I'm not in a person's mind. But nonetheless, a couple of my friends posted generic Facebook posts - not naming any names - but just saying something like "Go out to eat and leave a $1 tip, who would do that?"
Now I have no idea what transpired before Saturday at around 11 a.m., but somehow someone mentioned something to somebody, calling these people out. My friends and I were asleep, so I have no idea what happened. And to be perfectly honest, I really could give two s**ts what happened!
So allegedly, one of the members of the table who, allegedly, was part of the group who, allegedly, stiffed the waitress out a sufficient tip, decided that it was okay in some freakin' universe to message some stupid rant to one of my friends, accusing us of spreading gossip and rumors about them, which they insist were not true.
Now I don't give a damn whether it was true or not. And I don't give a damn if this person feels justified in reacting this way. But I DO give a damn that this person would be so reckless as to think that in some universe that it is okay to give me and my friends dirty looks and talk s*** about us at our local watering holes. And trust, I know that is a fact because a couple of people mentioned it ... and I, myself, saw the dirty looks.
Now this is the quiz ~~~ If you are eating in a restaurant and you, allegedly, leave a $1 tip when 3 or 4 people are eating, would you:
A) Justify it by saying a couple of the people paid by credit card (PS - the eatery DOES NOT accept credit cards);
B) Start a text altercation with a person because you have been called out for your alleged actions;
C) After thinking you've been called out, you call the eatery the next morning and complain about the server and almost get that server fired;
D) Feel justified in causing a ruckus with the people who you falsely assume made you, allegedly, look like a fool in the community.
You can decide which letter you want, but I'm going to make this plain and as clear and concise as this blogger can make it ...
If you choose letter D, you'd better be prepared for what I do after-the-fact, because if you choose to act like a fool and talk about me and my friends out in public, this is one black man who will make you second-guess choosing letter D!
So I'm putting it out there to whoever has a problem with me ~~ you are more than welcome to approach me face-to-face and discuss your concerns or issues, I welcome it. And I'm speaking for myself, no one else, and not my friends.
But best be warned ~~ you may be greeted by Eric, who is a nice, kind-hearted person who always has an open mind. Or you may be greeted by Bernadine, who is a bitchy, cunty wildcat who doesn't put up with any crap ... from anyone.
But if I were a betting man, I'd put all my savings on meeting up with Miss Bernadine!
But take your chances ... you never know.

**Editor's note ~ For those who aren't aware, the definition of allegedly is: used to convey that something is claimed to be the case or have taken place, although there is no proof.

Cameo, the newest kid on the gay community block, open for business

In case you haven't noticed, there's a new hot child in the city.
Cameo, the neighborhood's urban hangout in Asbury Park, is under new ownership and has reinvented itself as the new gay bar in our fair city. John McGillion, owner of Johnny Mac House of Spirits in the city, took over the bar and turned it into the newest gay bar in Asbury Park.
The reemergence took place about a month ago, and by the looks of it, the place is making a real dent in Asbury Park. The community has come out and has shown support for the new spot.
Cameo, located on Main Street, is just the newest member of the group of bars/restaurants already established as part of the gay scene ~ Georgie's Bar, Paradise Nightclub and Hotel Tides Restaurant & Spa.
Cameo also has a new manager. John Figueiredo, of Asbury Park, has taken over the reigns and is already making inroads in turning the bar into one of the places to be.
"We are now serving the gay community and creating an environment where people can relax, chill and mingle. The staff is friendly and the drinks are great," Figueiredo says. "Over the next couple of months we will be transforming this iconic bar into Asbury's newest gay destination to be. The staff is planning some exciting events to include half-priced Martini Mondays and Wicked Wednesdays, where we will be viewing "American Horror Stories'" newest season just in time for Halloween.
"Sundays we will be presenting "The Big Gay Beer Explosion," a take on the traditional beer blast. Dragon's Lair Productions is also pleased to announce "Bulge," a party for gay men, on the first Saturday of every month beginning in November."
According to Figueiredo, the LGBTQ community has been receptive of Asbury Park's newest gay bar.
"The response to our opening has been met with overwhelming excitement," he says. "I would say that the general consensus is that a new gay bar is just what Asbury Park and the gay community needs. Our community has been super supportive as the business has been growing week after week."
If you haven't gotten yourself out to check out Cameo, make sure you do.
Check out their Facebook page here!

The Pride Network presents awards reception, youth awards brunch in celebration of LGBT History Month

In celebration of LGBT History Month, The Pride Network will be hosting an awards reception and youth awards brunch honoring leaders in the LGBT community.
LGBT History Month is a month-long annual observance, held in October, of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender history, and the history of the gay rights and related Civil Rights movements.
The awards reception will be held Friday, October 25 at The Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel, located at 1401 Ocean Ave. in Asbury Park. The event starts at 7 p.m., with an open bar from 7-8 p.m. and passed hors d’oeuvres. Tickets are $65 and can be purchased at ThePrideNetwork.org.
The keynote speaker at the reception will be Daniel L. Weiss, an attorney with over two decades of experience in immigration law. Weiss, a same-sex marriage advocate, is the past chair of the District IX Ethics Committee and a special master for the OAE.
The awards reception, sponsored by Wells Fargo, will recognize New Jersey’s finest leaders. Among the honorees: Carol Watchler, chair of GLSEN Central New Jersey; Steven Goldstein, founder of Garden State Equality; Laura Pople, president of Jersey Pride Inc.; Ed Zipprich, a member of the Red Bank Borough Council; Jeffrey Campbell, executive director of the Hudson Pride Connections Center; the Rev. Robert F. Kaeding, founder of The Center in Asbury Park; TJ Helmstetter, director of Communications and Development at Garden State Equality; David Hoffman, event planner and gay rights advocate in Asbury Park; and John Loffredo, deputy mayor of Asbury Park.
Entertainment provided by DJ Mick Hale, and event design by Peter James Floral Couture.
The youth awards brunch, recognizing New Jersey’s finest young leaders, will be held Sunday, October 27 at The Hotel Tides Restaurant & Spa, located at 408 7th Ave. in Asbury Park. The brunch, sponsored by The Pride Network and the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), begins at 1 p.m. and the cost is $10 in advance and $15 at the door. Tickets can be purchased at ThePrideNetwork.org
The Pride Network strives to develop a more involved and informed LGBTQ community through leadership programs and practical solutions that build, educate and empower sustainable community networks. The organization also looks to a time when a fundamental part of being an LGBTQ individual is the opportunity to access a community that empowers and informs its members about their collective past, present and future.
For more information on these events held to honor LGBT History Month, contact Christian Fuscarino, director of The Pride Network, at 732-685-7386 or Christian@ThePrideNetwork.org

Embrace your indiscretions ~ no matter how ashamed you are of them

A funny thing happened on the way to the beach last week.
I wasn't planning on getting into the water ... I only swim in pools.
But I just love to sit on the boardwalk and watch the water. And by water, I mean the hot men.
So as I'm sitting there, deep in thought about my next blog entry, the subject just strolled by me. And as this man strolled by me, I instinctively put my hood over my head with the swiftness.
Sad to say, the hood was the only thing to hide me from ~~~ my indiscretion.
We all have one, or two, or 10! It's that person who you had "relations" with, who you are sort of ashamed of admitting.
That person could be a bit psychotic whose craziness was a hot turn-on in the boudoir, but in the light of day, you just know that everyone knows this fruit loop is one of Asbury Park's mental cases.
Or the person could be the biggest jerk in this city, but you didn't care at the time of the deed because you thought, "Hey, it's just sex!" But then it's the times afterward that you are just way too embarrassed to admit to your friends that the city's big jerk was someone you had sex with because you know you will be in for judgment.
Then you have the person who is the biggest flamer around, and despite the fact that he was a lion in the sack, in broad daylight he's just Mary's little lamb to everyone around the city. So when he comes up to you in a group of your friends, you steer all conversation away from any words that might give away the fact that you took him home with you one lonely night.
Well, mine was the psychotic. Hot, hot, hot in the bedroom ... but not, not, not in real life. So as I was able to avoid that awkward conversation, I felt a twinge of guilt. Who was I to judge? I mean, everyone has their faults, right?
Well guilt quickly turned to wonderment. Being the introspective gay that I am, I started to wonder, "Hey, am I anyone's hidden indiscretion?!?"
Everyone has sex with everyone around this city. But how many of us are ashamed to admit that we've had sex with someone not so desirable?
I would hate to think that a person that I had sex with would be afraid for others to know he did. But then again, we all have that person in our past ... or present.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you run into that person, don't ignore him/her because you are ashamed of your "relations" with this person. Just smile, greet that person with a warm hello, chit-chat a little. It would go a long way in making this city a friendlier place.
And isn't that what all of us gays really want ~ a friendly city?
Now the next time I run into my psychotic indiscretion, I know now what I will do ... Hell, I'm going to do the same exact thing I did last week! The dude is cra-cra!!
Sorry 'bout it ... but Bernadine isn't!

Don't worry, summer may be over but this city will still be sizzling

Now that the summer is over, and the out-of-towners have begun to vacate our fair city, things can get back to normal (as normal as Asbury Park can be).
And if anyone is thinking that things will slow down around this city, think again.
There are so many events, openings and happenings in store, the city will have so much to offer. Here are some things we can look forward to enjoying:

1) The reopening of La Sierra, now under the name Cascada
As many of us already know, La Sierra closed in the past couple of months to totally renovate and transform itself into a swanky nightclub atmosphere. Being the investigative reporter that I am, I was able to get a peek. And I must say, it looks awesome.
Recently I spoke with CeeMour Cox, entertainer of the year and the host of its Drag Warz, which happens on Monday nights. She was able to fill me in on some of the things on the new club's horizons.
CeeMour says "For Drag Warz, expect the unexpected. The competitions will continue, with upcoming twists and turns that will blow your minds. More drag stars, etc. I just can't wait to start it off!"
With regards to the new night spot, Miss Cox shares, "Cascada will have even better service and it will have more of an ambiance. We're looking to bring a cleaner crowd with familiar and new faces. We don't want to be known as "Oh it's a Mexican bar", or a straight bar with "a gay night" because we are so much more than that. We are going to be a nightclub that is diverse in every way, just like our beautiful town is."
The nightclub will reopen this fall, so let's amp up and support the business.

2) Fun times at Georgie's Bar
Georgie's Bar always holds the excitement for the community. It has always been a place where people can hang out and have drinks served by some awesome bartenders, dance, eat some great bar food courtesy of Pepe's Pit Stop, shoot pool, be throughly entertained by some fierce drag queens, listen to the jukebox and sing a little song or two on the stage.
Here's a rundown on what happens during the week:
On Mondays you can enjoy half-priced drinks with the city's favorite Ginger, Joe Cole;
On Tuesdays it's "Tempted Tuesdayz", when you can watch some very sexy go-go boys from New Hope and Philly while DJ Matty Flip spins the tunes. (P.S. - my favorite is Angel, or who some refer to as Clark Kent)! Yeah boy!!
On Wednesdays and Saturdays, karaoke hostess Jilly Sentino lets us belt out some strong vocals (or for some like me, sing like I'm trying to break a champagne glass).
On Thursdays we have a real treat, as Christy Girlington takes the stage as host of the bar's night of drag. Christy and the rest of the drag queens perform their hearts out as DJ Mick Hale spins the tunes, and at the end of the show, the queens get the chance to Kiki for the Coin to decide who the evening's winner will be. Such fun to watch!
On Fridays musical talent performs for the crowd, and Sundays will be the football on the TV screen while a lot of alcohol flows.

3) Paradise nightclub
So many thrilling things happen at Paradise. You can dance the night away to some great music, enjoy karaoke, stay at its Empress Hotel, enjoy some time in the pool, get some great drinks from some cool bartenders and feel like you are part of the family (unless you get messy, rambunctious drunk and find yourself escorted out by an awesome group of security guards - I never get messy drunk so I'm good! :-)
Sundays you can hang out for drinks and then once the nighttime hits, you can sing as off-tune as you like during karaoke, hosted by Nick Peters.
Mondays are for moviegoers, as Skootie and Fig show some fierce films that run the gamut from "9 to 5" to "Creature from the Pink Lagoon"!
And who says playing bingo is for old ladies? Well Tuesday evenings get out your scorecards and enjoy some "Bitchy Bingo" with its host, drag queen Holly Girlington!
Wednesdays you can enjoy game night with Fig; Thursdays you can work out those frustrations during an all new Rumba-Latin Night, complete with Latin dancers, manager/bartender Jo-Jo and hosted by Verona Voulure DeMornay; and Saturday is the dance party where you can groove to the beats until 3 a.m. with a slew of amazing DJs.
And on Fridays it's on, literally, with some stellar drag queens performing center stage for our excitement, hosted by Miss Paradise 2013 Empress Vizcaya Lord. A don't miss!

4) Hotel Tides Restaurant and Spa
This place sizzles in the summers and doesn't slow down just because autumn is approaching. This is a great place to stay, and during the fall you will still be able to see some great musical performers from all over the map.
And of course, the cuisine served by the fabulous chef and his staff is to die for! And I love to eat a good meal since I don't like to cook myself. The menu is all the buzz; you should definitely check it out. If you do, you will definitely be back for more!
Piano and songstress extraordinaire Barbara Rose; jazz duo Debra and Patrick; music man Josh Zuckerman; rockin' duo Wendy and Lisa; just to name a few. The hotel is always spotlighting talented artists during the art showings, and once RuPaul's Drag Race premieres, the crowd descends on the hotel bar for its viewing parties every Monday night.

5) Booze Bus Crawl
The last one, about a year ago, was a roaring success. So now it's back again this October. Organized by entertainment planner/bartender David Hoffman and Ryan Jimenez, who runs the Hotel Tides, this will surely be a hit once again. What better way to drink and get from bar to bar than to ride on this party bus?
The bus will stop at Georgie's Bar, Hotel Tides, Cascada and Paradise, in that order. The crawl, occurring Oct. 4th from 7:30 p.m. to 1 a.m., will have drink specials at the stops and the cost is $30.
So contact David or Ryan and get your tickets fast so you don't miss out on this event!

6) LGBT History Month
This October we all will be celebrating the history of those who have paved the way for all of us to get a little closer to full equality. There will be a number of events occurring to commemorate the successes of us all. I am in the process of working with Ryan, attorney and owner of the Kissing Booth Stephanie Hunnell, and LGBTQ leader Christian Fuscarino to make this month one that will not soon be forgotten.
Stay tuned for an upcoming blog on the final plans.

7) Ricky McChesney Tribute
So many of us in the community knew Ricky, and his death has been felt throughout.
Next Sunday, Sept. 8th, his family and friends will be holding a tribute in his honor at Paradise. The event, held from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., will be hosted by CeeMour Cox. A portion of the proceeds will benefit The Trevor Project. Tickets are $25 at the door, $20 advance purchase. For advance purchase, you can contact Barbara McChesney, 732-996-1643. You can also contact Paradise for more information.
Please come out and show your support, as Ricky's family and friends will be sharing memories and honoring his life.

These are just some happenings coming up in the near future. Check out these hot spots and events and support the community. Remember, you get back as much as you give out.
And if I forgot anyone or any events, this will be my disclaimer, as I smile coyly, shrug my shoulders and utter those five little words ... "Good God, getta grip girl!"