I'm sure that you've already heard that same-sex partners are now allowed to get married. Or at least we are in the final stretch of marriage equality.
Euphoria has overtaken the country - at least for those who are happy about it. Those vehemently against marriage equality are seething, but who really cares if they are angry? No one really cares. It's a time for celebration, and most members of the LGBTQ community are doing a lot of celebrating this weekend, especially today, in New York City.
What this all means in a nutshell:
The Supreme Court made two highly anticipated decisions on same-sex marriage, striking down the Defense of Marriage Act and dismissing California’s Proposition 8 case. The 1996 federal law defined the institution of marriage as a union between a man and a woman, thus denying federal benefits for gay couples whose marriages were recognized at the state level — like joint tax returns, Social Security, health insurance, pension protection, benefits for military couples, and immigration protections for couples from different countries. But no longer: the court invalidated DOMA in a 5-4 ruling. The Prop 8 ruling, on the other hand, is less decisive and more complicated. Prop 8 is a 2008 California ballot initiative that prohibited same-sex marriage by amending the state’s constitution. The case was dismissed on the basis that the petitioners don’t have standing; since the California courts have already struck down Prop 8, the lawyers opposing the bill don’t have standing to defend it. This means the court has effectively validated the rulings of lower courts that have rejected Prop 8.
Same-sex partners will be heading to the chapel in droves; some already have.
In New Jersey, Gov. Chris Christie is still going to try hard to find some way so the LGBTQ community can't walk down the aisle. This is probably why the community will make sure he doesn't get re-elected.
Hours after the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark ruling, Christie maintained his opposition to same-sex marriage and lambasted the high court. As he did last year, Christie said he would veto any gay marriage bill that reaches his desk. He accused Democrats of playing politics by refusing to put the issue up for referendum while asking voters to amend the constitution to tie future minimum wage increases to inflation.
So, this upcoming gubernatorial election is a big power play, now that the Supreme Court has given the LGBTQ community their right to marry. Make your voices heard, and don't think that just because we have gotten this far that we can rest now. There's still more to be done!
Now for me personally ...
I was going to break this blog entry in two parts. The reason: I didn't want to put a damper on such a historically positive subject. I am so happy that the LGBTQ community finally have marriage equality; we deserve it, and the struggle has been far too long.
We should be cheering from the rooftops, trying to grab a piece of the rainbow. And believe it or not, we have been. Everyone in the community seems to be ecstatic; we are jumping for joy. Hell, my cynical best friend is even ordained and able (and inspired) to marry the members of the LGBTQ community in what would most possibly be the gayest Judy Garland-inspired wedding ceremony ever to take place. He's fabulous, so it goes without saying that any ceremony he'd be overseeing would be fierce.
The community is so happy, so endearing, so joyous. They are bouncing off the walls!
So why aren't I? While everyone has been ecstatic, posting happy gay messages all over Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., I've just been overwhelmed and, I hate to say this, depressed a bit.
I couldn't figure out why my heart was sinking. I should have been one of the happiest gay men in the country, since I've put so much time and effort into the community and our struggles. I thought at first that I was anxious and depressed about all of this because, as a self-proclaimed romantic and Pollyanna at heart, it just meant that it would be so much harder to find the man of my dreams. I mean, the gays have been pairing up (some matches make me scratch my head and wonder "HOW") and ready to take that stroll down the aisle. Now people will be asking me, "So when are you getting married?" I never had to worry about that as a gay man ... until now.
But that's not why, actually. I didn't realize why I was feeling anxiety until I read a Facebook post from a good friend of mine. Basically his post acknowledged the Stonewall anniversary, giving credit and homage to those who kept pushing forward despite being beat down and beat up, and suggested that people make an effort to get to know their community in person and those who belong to it. In addition, we as a community should support the establishments that remain and make us feel like we have a place to go, right in our backyards. We all need to become a part of making our community the very best that it can be; make yourselves known and show yourself in the community. Get out from behind your gadgets and get into the community so we can become unified.
He was absolutely right! I have made so many personal goals to do just that, and I've accomplished these goals. I have instituted this blog to show the good, bad and ugly of the LGBTQ community; I volunteer in the community and with different organizations supporting the community; I worked long and hard to put together (with the help of my best friend) an annual prom to support the LGBTQ community so I can give a hefty donation to an LGBTQ organization who is giving their all back to the community; I always go out into the community and support the many establishments and businesses who are making it easy for this gay man to stay unified with my fellow LGBTQ members; I've worked with members of the community to help get politicians elected who will do whatever they can to get us equality.
I wouldn't have done anything differently because I knew the goal was to finally be equal in all aspects of this walk of life. To be honest, I think I'm just a bit burned out. I may sound like sour grapes with this next statement, but it saddens me a bit that maybe there are some members of the community who haven't lifted a finger to assist in the struggle for equality, but they've just sat back and reaped the benefits.
I felt sad that I was actually feeling this way. After all, we are finally going to have equal rights, so I should be happy and leave it at that. But for some reason, in the pit of my soul, I feel like we need to do more ... and we ALL need to do more.
I'm happy for those who will finally have their dreams become a reality and will be able to say "I do" to their beloved same-sex partners. And I pray that even though I've hidden it pretty well, that I, myself, can one day marry my beloved ... if he's even out there for me.
Yes, I'll forever be Charlotte from "Sex and the City"! Optimistic to a fault ... but never giving up!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Despite the best efforts, it's damn near impossible to put a lock on your heart
I had an affair with a married man.
I rarely talk about this time in my life because at times it's too painful to think about. It ended a couple of years ago, and to be honest, I didn't feel bad about having relations with this person. The man had been with his husband for years and they had an open relationship.
When we ended relations, it wasn't my decision. He had decided that it was no longer something he wanted to do, especially since he was happy with his partner. Unfortunately, by the time our affair was axed, I had feelings for him. I never exposed to him the fact that I had fallen for him - I felt some sort of embarassment.
We had an understanding that we wouldn't let any emotions interfere. But the heart will do what it wants, despite my best efforts to lock it up. I've been in a couple of other relationships with men that were very dear and special to me. But this man that I'd gotten into an affair with, well, he stole my heart. In a very real way, he was the only man who I was truly in love with.
I loved all the men who I let into my heart, don't get me wrong. But giving my full heart to, well that's a different story. I don't diminish any part of my relationships in any way. But this man is the only person I've ever been involved with who actually makes my heart ache when I see him.
So when I saw him the other day at a fundraising event, my heart was heavy. I knew that I'd see him there, but I was hoping that when I saw him I'd be able to prove to myself that he didn't mean much to me anymore.
I'm not in love with him anymore, but I do still have feelings for him. This angers me somewhat.
I don't have any ill feelings towards him, none at all. I wish him well, and I know that he didn't do anything to lead me on. It was an affair, plain and simple.
But it was good to see him.
Not because I had any fantasies of him grabbing me, picking me up in his arms and kissing me passionately. (Well, I sorta did!)
But because I needed to see that he and his husband were really happy together. I don't know why I needed to see that, perhaps because I needed to understand why I gave my heart to him anyway.
To this day I haven't found another man who has been able to touch my heart in that way. And trust me ~ I've been on the lookout. Of course people always tell me that I am always oblivious to guys who are interested in me.
I really do want to find another man to let into my life and heart, but it's so difficult to find that man.
So I'm hoping he's out there and will approach me. Can you believe some think I'm unapproachable??? Perhaps, but I won't bite ... well, not much.
The purpose of this blog post, I suppose, is to let this man off the hook. I haven't had the chance to say it to him, but to this man ~ I forgive you. And in the same breath, I forgive myself.
Now I think I can put all that, I don't know what it was, behind me. This man was a sweet, funny, attractive, kind-hearted gentleman, and I am glad that I was able to share part of myself with him for the time that we had.
(... I hope I don't seem too introspective and wistful, but this is what happens when I watch the part in the "Sex and the City" movie when Carrie finds the letters Big wrote to her!)
I rarely talk about this time in my life because at times it's too painful to think about. It ended a couple of years ago, and to be honest, I didn't feel bad about having relations with this person. The man had been with his husband for years and they had an open relationship.
When we ended relations, it wasn't my decision. He had decided that it was no longer something he wanted to do, especially since he was happy with his partner. Unfortunately, by the time our affair was axed, I had feelings for him. I never exposed to him the fact that I had fallen for him - I felt some sort of embarassment.
We had an understanding that we wouldn't let any emotions interfere. But the heart will do what it wants, despite my best efforts to lock it up. I've been in a couple of other relationships with men that were very dear and special to me. But this man that I'd gotten into an affair with, well, he stole my heart. In a very real way, he was the only man who I was truly in love with.
I loved all the men who I let into my heart, don't get me wrong. But giving my full heart to, well that's a different story. I don't diminish any part of my relationships in any way. But this man is the only person I've ever been involved with who actually makes my heart ache when I see him.
So when I saw him the other day at a fundraising event, my heart was heavy. I knew that I'd see him there, but I was hoping that when I saw him I'd be able to prove to myself that he didn't mean much to me anymore.
I'm not in love with him anymore, but I do still have feelings for him. This angers me somewhat.
I don't have any ill feelings towards him, none at all. I wish him well, and I know that he didn't do anything to lead me on. It was an affair, plain and simple.
But it was good to see him.
Not because I had any fantasies of him grabbing me, picking me up in his arms and kissing me passionately. (Well, I sorta did!)
But because I needed to see that he and his husband were really happy together. I don't know why I needed to see that, perhaps because I needed to understand why I gave my heart to him anyway.
To this day I haven't found another man who has been able to touch my heart in that way. And trust me ~ I've been on the lookout. Of course people always tell me that I am always oblivious to guys who are interested in me.
I really do want to find another man to let into my life and heart, but it's so difficult to find that man.
So I'm hoping he's out there and will approach me. Can you believe some think I'm unapproachable??? Perhaps, but I won't bite ... well, not much.
The purpose of this blog post, I suppose, is to let this man off the hook. I haven't had the chance to say it to him, but to this man ~ I forgive you. And in the same breath, I forgive myself.
Now I think I can put all that, I don't know what it was, behind me. This man was a sweet, funny, attractive, kind-hearted gentleman, and I am glad that I was able to share part of myself with him for the time that we had.
(... I hope I don't seem too introspective and wistful, but this is what happens when I watch the part in the "Sex and the City" movie when Carrie finds the letters Big wrote to her!)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Pink Prom was a success, thanks to all its fabulous contributors
(Part 2 of 2)
As the Pink Prom was a successful event, it was a slightly difficult event to put together .
But even though it was a fabulous event, it couldn't have been a worthwhile event without the help of several important individuals.
When I decided to put together the Pink Prom, I was nervous that this event wouldn't be the best event it could be. I thought it would be a good event with a lot of things left out. But after all the planning, it turned out to be the best event that it could possibly be.
If I had to list all its fabulous contributors, I would be here all day. The event was a success, thanks to many generous contributors. Even though the prom was one of the most fabulous events of the season, it would not have been a great event without the help of certain people.
I have to give a big shout-out to Ryan Jimenez, the person who helped me to put this entire event together. I had no idea what to do to make this event a success, but Ryan had the know-how and knowledge to turn this event into one of the most fabulous events in Asbury Park's history.
I wanted to make as much money as possible to give back to an organization that has done so much good for the community, so this event was so worthwhile. The Leather Community, DragonsLair, put together the silent auction, and we were able to raise a good amount of funds for a good cause. Paradise and the individuals in charge of the club helped in the organization and helping to make this event a success.
I never wanted to shine any attention on myself and let anyone know that I was behind the funding for this event because I believed the most important thing was the cause. But I guess it is okay that people know what the purpose of this event was for, and who was behind the fundraiser.
I never realized that even though this was for a good cause, not all the supporters of the gay community would be behind this. So when some organizations who have usually supported the gay community did not have our backs, I was taken aback. I'm usually in a position to have faith in all organizations supporting one another, but when I pounded the pavement to get companies to give back to the gay organizations who have put themselves out there to make things better for the LGBTQ organization, I came up short.
I won't guesstimate why, but I am just hoping that the many organizations and companies unite to help the gay organizations make a difference. Some of them haven't done it yet, but down the road I am hoping they do it. The only way we can make a difference is by supporting ourselves and giving back what we already put out there.
I, myself, support the companies that are supportive of the gay community. I'm just hoping that it doesn't continue to be a one-way street.
As the Pink Prom was a successful event, it was a slightly difficult event to put together .
But even though it was a fabulous event, it couldn't have been a worthwhile event without the help of several important individuals.
When I decided to put together the Pink Prom, I was nervous that this event wouldn't be the best event it could be. I thought it would be a good event with a lot of things left out. But after all the planning, it turned out to be the best event that it could possibly be.
If I had to list all its fabulous contributors, I would be here all day. The event was a success, thanks to many generous contributors. Even though the prom was one of the most fabulous events of the season, it would not have been a great event without the help of certain people.
I have to give a big shout-out to Ryan Jimenez, the person who helped me to put this entire event together. I had no idea what to do to make this event a success, but Ryan had the know-how and knowledge to turn this event into one of the most fabulous events in Asbury Park's history.
I wanted to make as much money as possible to give back to an organization that has done so much good for the community, so this event was so worthwhile. The Leather Community, DragonsLair, put together the silent auction, and we were able to raise a good amount of funds for a good cause. Paradise and the individuals in charge of the club helped in the organization and helping to make this event a success.
I never wanted to shine any attention on myself and let anyone know that I was behind the funding for this event because I believed the most important thing was the cause. But I guess it is okay that people know what the purpose of this event was for, and who was behind the fundraiser.
I never realized that even though this was for a good cause, not all the supporters of the gay community would be behind this. So when some organizations who have usually supported the gay community did not have our backs, I was taken aback. I'm usually in a position to have faith in all organizations supporting one another, but when I pounded the pavement to get companies to give back to the gay organizations who have put themselves out there to make things better for the LGBTQ organization, I came up short.
I won't guesstimate why, but I am just hoping that the many organizations and companies unite to help the gay organizations make a difference. Some of them haven't done it yet, but down the road I am hoping they do it. The only way we can make a difference is by supporting ourselves and giving back what we already put out there.
I, myself, support the companies that are supportive of the gay community. I'm just hoping that it doesn't continue to be a one-way street.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Hey you, I know what you tried to do to hurt the Pink Prom ~ but you failed!
(Part 1 of a 2-part blog post)
This past Friday, the 1st Annual Pink Prom debuted in Asbury Park. I was so nervous and excited, and I feared that maybe it wouldn't be a success.
Well my worst fear was not realized, and the prom was a stellar event that made me so damn proud.
Now as mentioned earlier, this is the first part of a two-part blog post. This first one will primarily be me venting about a couple of things that pissed me off; the second part will be more on a positive note, thanking many individuals for all their work and going into detail about who helped, who wore what and a shout-out to the prom's king and queen.
So many people came together to support a great cause. All of the prom's proceeds went to The Pride Network, an organization that supports, benefits and helps the LGBTQ community. I was so happy that we made so much money to give back to the community.
There were a couple of bumps in the road. The printing place messed up the commemorative books last minute, so Ryan (who is the prom's co-founder, general manager/event planner at the prom's location, Hotel Tides, and my best friend) and I had to do a lot of scrambling to make sure the books were ready.
The other bump came in the form of someone who couldn't get tickets for the prom, so this "person" allegedly attempted - and failed - to have the prom possibly not even happen.
Okay, once again for all those who couldn't get a ticket before they were sold out ~~ we set the number of attendees at a certain number so the place wouldn't be too crowded and individuals could move around easily in their finest prom tuxedos and gowns. Another reason ~ we didn't want to have it overcrowded and have a problem with the fire marshal or any other officials who might have an issue with the number of people.
Well, an official had an issue with something for the prom, and contacted us to inquire. The official was given incorrect information by someone, and the issue was solved because it was a moot point. It was from a tipster, and since I'm an investigative reporter by trade, it wasn't too difficult to do a little sleuthing and find out who this "tipster" was behind that mess.
Okay, this is where Bernadine (my rattlesnake, no-holds-barred, take no prisoners diva alter ego) is making her debut ...
This "tipster" is a person who isn't well-liked or respected in the community, despite his feeble efforts to be a force or presence of some sort of importance in the LGBTQ community. That a person of such little standards would go to such underhanded methods, crying and boo-hooing that he couldn't get in to the event because he is under the false impression that he's important ~ well he ought to be ashamed of himself!
By doing what he did, he almost caused a real issue for us and the prom ~ a lovely event whose sole purpose was to donate a bucketload of money to an LGBTQ organization that is helping our community out in so, so many fabulous ways! Not only was he attempting to harm the prom, he was attempting to push his dark soul on to everyone who gave their all in making this event a success.
Well, that wasn't the worst! This person had the gall to show up at this event that he tried to cause a problem for! A couple of people couldn't attend last minute, so despite efforts to stop it, they sold their tickets to this person.
Well Bernadine will be having a one-on-one "conversation" with this cad, this hypocrite who would be so atrocious as to smile in my face after trying to cause me a problem. Especially since every time people in the community would trash this person in my presence, I'd always say, "Hey, he's not such a bad guy, he just has some issues."
Well don't I feel like the fool?!? Well fool me once, shame on me; fool Bernadine once, shame on YOU!
But I digress ...
So after my first foray into event planning in the LGBTQ community, I've learned a number of valuable lessons. Next year, we will do what we need to do to open the prom up to a few dozen more people and will do what's needed to include more individuals so thay can attend this fabulous prom.
I've also learned that some people in the LGBTQ community will bend over backwards to help you and make sure your event is a roaring success, while others will do whatever it takes to hurt you and try to make sure you fail.
Well the prom was a great event for the community with much success. We were able to donate a hell of a lot of money to The Pride Network, and that was one of the major purposes of this event.
Now that I've had my venting session in this one, part two of this blog post about the prom will be a shout-out of thanks to certain individuals, the lovely aspects of this event, and plans that are in the works for the 2nd Annual Pink Prom.
But before I close out Part One, I just want to say how blessed I feel to know that Ryan and I have begun something so amazing in the LGBTQ community! It was worth all my burnout and stress!
This past Friday, the 1st Annual Pink Prom debuted in Asbury Park. I was so nervous and excited, and I feared that maybe it wouldn't be a success.
Well my worst fear was not realized, and the prom was a stellar event that made me so damn proud.
Now as mentioned earlier, this is the first part of a two-part blog post. This first one will primarily be me venting about a couple of things that pissed me off; the second part will be more on a positive note, thanking many individuals for all their work and going into detail about who helped, who wore what and a shout-out to the prom's king and queen.
So many people came together to support a great cause. All of the prom's proceeds went to The Pride Network, an organization that supports, benefits and helps the LGBTQ community. I was so happy that we made so much money to give back to the community.
There were a couple of bumps in the road. The printing place messed up the commemorative books last minute, so Ryan (who is the prom's co-founder, general manager/event planner at the prom's location, Hotel Tides, and my best friend) and I had to do a lot of scrambling to make sure the books were ready.
The other bump came in the form of someone who couldn't get tickets for the prom, so this "person" allegedly attempted - and failed - to have the prom possibly not even happen.
Okay, once again for all those who couldn't get a ticket before they were sold out ~~ we set the number of attendees at a certain number so the place wouldn't be too crowded and individuals could move around easily in their finest prom tuxedos and gowns. Another reason ~ we didn't want to have it overcrowded and have a problem with the fire marshal or any other officials who might have an issue with the number of people.
Well, an official had an issue with something for the prom, and contacted us to inquire. The official was given incorrect information by someone, and the issue was solved because it was a moot point. It was from a tipster, and since I'm an investigative reporter by trade, it wasn't too difficult to do a little sleuthing and find out who this "tipster" was behind that mess.
Okay, this is where Bernadine (my rattlesnake, no-holds-barred, take no prisoners diva alter ego) is making her debut ...
This "tipster" is a person who isn't well-liked or respected in the community, despite his feeble efforts to be a force or presence of some sort of importance in the LGBTQ community. That a person of such little standards would go to such underhanded methods, crying and boo-hooing that he couldn't get in to the event because he is under the false impression that he's important ~ well he ought to be ashamed of himself!
By doing what he did, he almost caused a real issue for us and the prom ~ a lovely event whose sole purpose was to donate a bucketload of money to an LGBTQ organization that is helping our community out in so, so many fabulous ways! Not only was he attempting to harm the prom, he was attempting to push his dark soul on to everyone who gave their all in making this event a success.
Well, that wasn't the worst! This person had the gall to show up at this event that he tried to cause a problem for! A couple of people couldn't attend last minute, so despite efforts to stop it, they sold their tickets to this person.
Well Bernadine will be having a one-on-one "conversation" with this cad, this hypocrite who would be so atrocious as to smile in my face after trying to cause me a problem. Especially since every time people in the community would trash this person in my presence, I'd always say, "Hey, he's not such a bad guy, he just has some issues."
Well don't I feel like the fool?!? Well fool me once, shame on me; fool Bernadine once, shame on YOU!
But I digress ...
So after my first foray into event planning in the LGBTQ community, I've learned a number of valuable lessons. Next year, we will do what we need to do to open the prom up to a few dozen more people and will do what's needed to include more individuals so thay can attend this fabulous prom.
I've also learned that some people in the LGBTQ community will bend over backwards to help you and make sure your event is a roaring success, while others will do whatever it takes to hurt you and try to make sure you fail.
Well the prom was a great event for the community with much success. We were able to donate a hell of a lot of money to The Pride Network, and that was one of the major purposes of this event.
Now that I've had my venting session in this one, part two of this blog post about the prom will be a shout-out of thanks to certain individuals, the lovely aspects of this event, and plans that are in the works for the 2nd Annual Pink Prom.
But before I close out Part One, I just want to say how blessed I feel to know that Ryan and I have begun something so amazing in the LGBTQ community! It was worth all my burnout and stress!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Be afraid of Miss Bernadine, folks! Be very, very afraid!
It takes a lot to piss me off. I mean, you really have to do something vicious to push me to the point to show my inner diva.
The one thing you can do to get me to that point would be to play with my money. My Dad worked long and hard to make sure his family was financially stable and never really wanted for anything along those lines. So Dad taught me that if anyone disrespects your money, put them in their place right away!
So when a person messes with my money, I sure as hell am gonna mess with them.
So last night, some bitchy lesbian tried to mess with my money, and she didn't know that when she did that, Miss Bernadine would emerge.
A little aside ~~ Bernadine is my alter ego; she is the no-holds-barred, get in your face, lets you know what she thinks of you no matter how vicious it may sound. So when goody-two-shoes Eric becomes dormant and fierce diva Bernadine takes over, run for the hills!
Only a small number of people have run into Bernadine, but the mean-spirited lesbian got a huge dose of her last night! This disgusting excuse of a "lady" decided to kill a few of my friends' songs out of the jukebox if she didn't like them, and so only her songs would play. But when my songs, which I paid my hard-earned money to listen to, were eliminated by her in such an underhanded way, Bernadine took over and confronted her.
Now I'm not going to assume how she got her hands on the remote to skip songs; it's usually kept behind the bar. It's possible there is some sort of app that will do it. I don't even want to guesstimate how it happened because I will be upset with another person as well.
But neither here nor there, she did it. And when I confronted her immediately after I saw her do this for the third time, she acted like she was incredulous that someone caught her, and said that she skipped songs earlier but hadn't done it now.
I call bulls**t!!
I told her that if I don't kill her songs out of the jukebox, then she'd better not be so ignorant as to do that to me! I put my money in the machine out of my pocket to play songs, and just because she wants to be a bitch and knock them out, it's not right. And I'd better not catch her doing it again!
But of course, you know she will do it again. No one in any sort of power will do anything to stop her. I mean, especially since lesbians like this girl think that since she's a woman, a guy can't do anything to her.
Now I love my lesbians, but when one of them acts like they are superior to ALL men, some serious steps need to be taken to drive her back to reality. Have some common decency for everyone around you, I mean really?!?
It takes five seconds to do something nice and treat people with respect. It takes at least five minutes to do something mean, especially because you have to think about the process. Of course, those individuals with dark souls need only 10 seconds to plan their villanous attempts ... we refer to those people as sociopaths. There are a few people who fit this category, and I think the "lady" from last night may be one of them.
So just be warned ~~ don't put yourself in a situation where you will meet up with Bernadine! Because once you force Bernadine to show herself, life for you will never be the same! BERNADINE WILL RUIN YOU!
Now have a nice day!
The one thing you can do to get me to that point would be to play with my money. My Dad worked long and hard to make sure his family was financially stable and never really wanted for anything along those lines. So Dad taught me that if anyone disrespects your money, put them in their place right away!
So when a person messes with my money, I sure as hell am gonna mess with them.
So last night, some bitchy lesbian tried to mess with my money, and she didn't know that when she did that, Miss Bernadine would emerge.
A little aside ~~ Bernadine is my alter ego; she is the no-holds-barred, get in your face, lets you know what she thinks of you no matter how vicious it may sound. So when goody-two-shoes Eric becomes dormant and fierce diva Bernadine takes over, run for the hills!
Only a small number of people have run into Bernadine, but the mean-spirited lesbian got a huge dose of her last night! This disgusting excuse of a "lady" decided to kill a few of my friends' songs out of the jukebox if she didn't like them, and so only her songs would play. But when my songs, which I paid my hard-earned money to listen to, were eliminated by her in such an underhanded way, Bernadine took over and confronted her.
Now I'm not going to assume how she got her hands on the remote to skip songs; it's usually kept behind the bar. It's possible there is some sort of app that will do it. I don't even want to guesstimate how it happened because I will be upset with another person as well.
But neither here nor there, she did it. And when I confronted her immediately after I saw her do this for the third time, she acted like she was incredulous that someone caught her, and said that she skipped songs earlier but hadn't done it now.
I call bulls**t!!
I told her that if I don't kill her songs out of the jukebox, then she'd better not be so ignorant as to do that to me! I put my money in the machine out of my pocket to play songs, and just because she wants to be a bitch and knock them out, it's not right. And I'd better not catch her doing it again!
But of course, you know she will do it again. No one in any sort of power will do anything to stop her. I mean, especially since lesbians like this girl think that since she's a woman, a guy can't do anything to her.
Now I love my lesbians, but when one of them acts like they are superior to ALL men, some serious steps need to be taken to drive her back to reality. Have some common decency for everyone around you, I mean really?!?
It takes five seconds to do something nice and treat people with respect. It takes at least five minutes to do something mean, especially because you have to think about the process. Of course, those individuals with dark souls need only 10 seconds to plan their villanous attempts ... we refer to those people as sociopaths. There are a few people who fit this category, and I think the "lady" from last night may be one of them.
So just be warned ~~ don't put yourself in a situation where you will meet up with Bernadine! Because once you force Bernadine to show herself, life for you will never be the same! BERNADINE WILL RUIN YOU!
Now have a nice day!
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Either you're gay or you're straight ... or you're just foolin' yourself
I was recently watching an interview with record producer Clive Davis, who was discussing his latest memoir, "The Soundtrack of My Life". In the book, 81-year-old Davis goes into detail about his sexual orientation, and he remarked "I'm here to say that bisexuality does exist."
It struck me as sort of interesting. I've always been intrigued by bisexuals. I've never really cared too much what someone's sexual orientation is, because in our universe, there's no black or white about the issue - it's all shades of grey.
So bisexuality - in its simplest form - is fine with me. I never practiced bisexuality prior to coming out as a gay man ... when I burst out of the closet, I didn't make any pitstops on my way to Gayhood. I figured, if I was going to make this much of a change in my life, why not go all the way. Plus, I think women are fascinating; I just don't want to have sex with them.
So when I look at the concept of bisexuality, what truly intrigues me is the mass of straight men who just love hanging out with us gay boyz. I have no problem with a straight man hanging out all of the time with gay men. But there are some straight men who do this with this sort of undeniable pleasure of being surrounded by gay men.
To the open public, it is very open-minded of the straight men to be able to do this. After all, the joke has always been to look at the situation as difficult, because if people were to believe the crazy rumor, they'd believe that all gay men wanted to convert straight men to join our team.
This is just a fairytale; we don't want to convert heterosexuals into gays. At least I don't.
But it just sometimes makes me wonder why so many straight men love to hang with the group of gay boyz? I know that we can be a lot of fun, don't take ourselves too seriously, and to top it off, the straight guys don't have to worry about buying us drinks, etc., because we have our own. So in some instances, I guess it's a good thing for them to hang with us.
But here is when it gets to me a bit. There will always be the self-proclaimed straight man, who has been in our midst for a good amount of time, to take it a bit too far. They get very aggressively "playful" and sooner or later starts to act like a bit of an ass in our presence. I guess sometimes we can chalk it up to the guy just trying to assert some masculinity. But for me, it just smacks of fear, sometimes a fear of living life as a gay man.
And there are some of these guys who get a swelled head thinking that all of us gay boyz are just fawning all over them. They will ask pointed questions like "What would you like to do to me?" or "You know I'm straight, right?" Boy, when their questions start to resemble these, they should begin to realize that their status in the circle of gays has reached its limit.
At this point, straight dudes, you have to make a decision - either pull back and get a grip (possibly become less visible in our circle), or come out as a gay man. I'm sorry, but if you get such joy out of flirting with the gays and having us flirt mercifully right back at ya, then there is something deep down that you haven't yet come to terms with in your own being.
Now some straight guys don't act like this at all, and I adore hanging with them as much as I can. But there are a few ... and if any straight guy that you are hanging out with in your circle of friends begins to act in this way, pull him aside and let him know what he needs to do.
I know of one or two straight guys in my midst that need a reality check. And trust - it's inevitably for their own good.
It struck me as sort of interesting. I've always been intrigued by bisexuals. I've never really cared too much what someone's sexual orientation is, because in our universe, there's no black or white about the issue - it's all shades of grey.
So bisexuality - in its simplest form - is fine with me. I never practiced bisexuality prior to coming out as a gay man ... when I burst out of the closet, I didn't make any pitstops on my way to Gayhood. I figured, if I was going to make this much of a change in my life, why not go all the way. Plus, I think women are fascinating; I just don't want to have sex with them.
So when I look at the concept of bisexuality, what truly intrigues me is the mass of straight men who just love hanging out with us gay boyz. I have no problem with a straight man hanging out all of the time with gay men. But there are some straight men who do this with this sort of undeniable pleasure of being surrounded by gay men.
To the open public, it is very open-minded of the straight men to be able to do this. After all, the joke has always been to look at the situation as difficult, because if people were to believe the crazy rumor, they'd believe that all gay men wanted to convert straight men to join our team.
This is just a fairytale; we don't want to convert heterosexuals into gays. At least I don't.
But it just sometimes makes me wonder why so many straight men love to hang with the group of gay boyz? I know that we can be a lot of fun, don't take ourselves too seriously, and to top it off, the straight guys don't have to worry about buying us drinks, etc., because we have our own. So in some instances, I guess it's a good thing for them to hang with us.
But here is when it gets to me a bit. There will always be the self-proclaimed straight man, who has been in our midst for a good amount of time, to take it a bit too far. They get very aggressively "playful" and sooner or later starts to act like a bit of an ass in our presence. I guess sometimes we can chalk it up to the guy just trying to assert some masculinity. But for me, it just smacks of fear, sometimes a fear of living life as a gay man.
And there are some of these guys who get a swelled head thinking that all of us gay boyz are just fawning all over them. They will ask pointed questions like "What would you like to do to me?" or "You know I'm straight, right?" Boy, when their questions start to resemble these, they should begin to realize that their status in the circle of gays has reached its limit.
At this point, straight dudes, you have to make a decision - either pull back and get a grip (possibly become less visible in our circle), or come out as a gay man. I'm sorry, but if you get such joy out of flirting with the gays and having us flirt mercifully right back at ya, then there is something deep down that you haven't yet come to terms with in your own being.
Now some straight guys don't act like this at all, and I adore hanging with them as much as I can. But there are a few ... and if any straight guy that you are hanging out with in your circle of friends begins to act in this way, pull him aside and let him know what he needs to do.
I know of one or two straight guys in my midst that need a reality check. And trust - it's inevitably for their own good.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Mid-life crisis takes on a whole new meaning around these parts
There is an epidemic that has hit Asbury Park. And sad to say, there's no antibiotics to take so you won't catch it.
This epidemic, it seems, is a direct result of experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis. Maybe someone can explain to me how some individuals in the gay community find it desirable to "date" someone almost half their age, and then decide to act like they are still in junior high school.
They will start knock-down, dragged out arguments and battles right out in public, and then become offended when people who actually have common sense will let them know that their actions are unacceptable.
Older men who are well past their prime should find it appropriate to actually act like grown gentlemen; I, personally, find an older gentleman who acts their age - with some distinguished grey - very attractive. That, my dears, is actually my type of man.
But for a few of you older men entrenched in a mid-life crisis around Asbury Park, you have this warped confusion that you are actually being "fun". Well no, it's not "fun and carefree" ... it's tragic for others in the community to have to witness this train wreck.
But rest assured, there is a way to avoid falling victim to this epidemic. You can either have friends who will give you a stiff lecture and let you know you are acting the fool. Or you can just maintain a high level of sanity, have a mid-life crisis like a true gentleman, and let the community breathe a sigh of relief when you are around.
Guys, you don't have to prove how youthful and desirable you are by blindly running around this city and embarassing yourselves. Plus, once you demonstrate these tragic qualities about yourself, your reputation in Asbury Park will be forever destroyed. People in this city have a long memory, and you will always be known as "that old queen who had to get tossed out of that bar or restaurant for getting into an altercation with their twink boyfriend"!
Now I'm not saying that older men should never go out with younger guys. I'm just saying that if you do decide to go that route, just remember to behave with proper decorum and carry yourself as a gentleman.
I don't think I can take seeing one more older guy acting like a broke-down queen chasing after a bitchy twink ever again.
Respect yourself. Simple as that.
This epidemic, it seems, is a direct result of experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis. Maybe someone can explain to me how some individuals in the gay community find it desirable to "date" someone almost half their age, and then decide to act like they are still in junior high school.
They will start knock-down, dragged out arguments and battles right out in public, and then become offended when people who actually have common sense will let them know that their actions are unacceptable.
Older men who are well past their prime should find it appropriate to actually act like grown gentlemen; I, personally, find an older gentleman who acts their age - with some distinguished grey - very attractive. That, my dears, is actually my type of man.
But for a few of you older men entrenched in a mid-life crisis around Asbury Park, you have this warped confusion that you are actually being "fun". Well no, it's not "fun and carefree" ... it's tragic for others in the community to have to witness this train wreck.
But rest assured, there is a way to avoid falling victim to this epidemic. You can either have friends who will give you a stiff lecture and let you know you are acting the fool. Or you can just maintain a high level of sanity, have a mid-life crisis like a true gentleman, and let the community breathe a sigh of relief when you are around.
Guys, you don't have to prove how youthful and desirable you are by blindly running around this city and embarassing yourselves. Plus, once you demonstrate these tragic qualities about yourself, your reputation in Asbury Park will be forever destroyed. People in this city have a long memory, and you will always be known as "that old queen who had to get tossed out of that bar or restaurant for getting into an altercation with their twink boyfriend"!
Now I'm not saying that older men should never go out with younger guys. I'm just saying that if you do decide to go that route, just remember to behave with proper decorum and carry yourself as a gentleman.
I don't think I can take seeing one more older guy acting like a broke-down queen chasing after a bitchy twink ever again.
Respect yourself. Simple as that.
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