I was reading an article, "An etiquette guide for straight people in gay bars", and it just made me chuckle.
They make some points in the article that are right on the money. It mainly focused on gay bars mostly frequented by men. In the piece, it was mentioned that women, although welcome in these bars, don't have much power because the topless male bartenders aren't tripping over themselves to wait on them first and women are virtually invisible. Also, women who accompany their male gays to these establishments sometimes turn into cockblockers, thus hindering their gay male friend in the pursuit of a sexual liaison for the evening.
The article went on to explain that some women love to bring their bachelorette parties into gay bars because they can have a much better time partying it up with the gay males. In some cases, the gays just don't want to be bothered, according to the article.
The article beat up on the straight guys as well. It explained that the straight men who happen to wander into the gay bars, whether just checking out the atmosphere or being dragged there by their girlfiends/wives, sometimes have a chip on their shoulder. They tend to think that they are going to get hit on by every single gay man in the place. But sometimes, the straight guy will get hit on - and if he does, the guy shouldn't be utterly offended and act like a jerk to the gay guy. Proper etiquette would be to let him down gently, just like you'd act if you were letting a woman know you weren't interested.
It's a funny article, and although it pokes fun at straight people in gay bars, it does hit the nail on the head. For example, a couple of months ago Paradise, the local gay club in Asbury Park, was overrun with a raucous crowd of drunken, overbearing straight individuals who literally were tearing the place apart. It was a Sunday night and was kind of slow - that is, until this group of about 20-25 straight people invaded the place. One of them said they were coming from a crazy party at another local bar/restaurant on the boardwalk.
Now I had no issue with them hanging out at Paradise, because I love my straights (a little joke because most people who know me are well aware that I hate it when someone says "I love my gays"). But the part of them being there was the way they acted. They were not only drunk and disorderly, but disrespectful because some of them were so out-of-control because a couple of them that were "talking" to me said that since it was a gay club, we should be used to it because that's how we act.
Total misconception! Just because a person is gathered with his gay friends in a gay establishment does not mean we act the fool and knock over tables, fall sloppily on the floors, toss people we are dancing with into walls, and have no qualms ruining DJ or karaoke equipment.
I've never been so upset at watching drunk people tear through a bar, never in my life. But watching some of them get booted from the club was just embarassing. Would they do the same thing if they were hanging at Brickwall, Porta or BACA? I know they wouldn't.
If this is what people think goes on at gay bars and clubs, they are wrong! I am making a request of any straight people who venture into gay bars/clubs/restaurants: Have the same respect and decency that gay people have for the places they frequent. I'm in no way saying that all straight people act like this, but there are a small portion who do act this way.
I, for one, love it when bachelorette parties frequent the gay bars because some of these women are so cool and love to dance as crazy as I do. So unlike the article, I am a fan of them. My only request: don't block me when I'm hitting on a hot guy. Otherwise, you are fine.
I do think it's going a bit too far when straight couples come in to the gay bars and clutch each others' hands for dear life. The lady is doing it so her guy doesn't get hit on by a gay man; the guy is doing it because he doesn't want to get hit on by a gay man. But more often than not (as I've witnessed firsthand), the guy is not even worth hitting on because he's not that cute! So please stop disrespecting us - and making yourselves look foolish - by clutching each other like you are attached at the hip. The gays are only laughing at you when you do it anyway.
And please, straight dudes, stop repeating over and over that you aren't gay - or you have gay friends - or asking me if it's okay for straight people to be in the bar. It's insulting and you are making a pain-in-the-ass of yourself.
To close, I just have one more request: Please stop referring to your businesses/bars/restaurants, etc. as "gay-friendly"! It sends a poor message to the universe that gay people are different, and trust me, we are no different than any other individual on the planet. Would you call your establishment "straight-friendly", "Beyonce-friendly" or "alien-friendly"? No you wouldn't, so stop parading this phrase around like it's a badge of honor. It's crossing the line to downright insulting, and it tends to make me want to avoid those places altogether.
Editor's Note: I'm not lumping all straight people into the same category; this blog post is only referring to the tiny population who are guilty of these actions. Amen!
