I was recently watching an interview with record producer Clive Davis, who was discussing his latest memoir, "The Soundtrack of My Life". In the book, 81-year-old Davis goes into detail about his sexual orientation, and he remarked "I'm here to say that bisexuality does exist."
It struck me as sort of interesting. I've always been intrigued by bisexuals. I've never really cared too much what someone's sexual orientation is, because in our universe, there's no black or white about the issue - it's all shades of grey.
So bisexuality - in its simplest form - is fine with me. I never practiced bisexuality prior to coming out as a gay man ... when I burst out of the closet, I didn't make any pitstops on my way to Gayhood. I figured, if I was going to make this much of a change in my life, why not go all the way. Plus, I think women are fascinating; I just don't want to have sex with them.
So when I look at the concept of bisexuality, what truly intrigues me is the mass of straight men who just love hanging out with us gay boyz. I have no problem with a straight man hanging out all of the time with gay men. But there are some straight men who do this with this sort of undeniable pleasure of being surrounded by gay men.
To the open public, it is very open-minded of the straight men to be able to do this. After all, the joke has always been to look at the situation as difficult, because if people were to believe the crazy rumor, they'd believe that all gay men wanted to convert straight men to join our team.
This is just a fairytale; we don't want to convert heterosexuals into gays. At least I don't.
But it just sometimes makes me wonder why so many straight men love to hang with the group of gay boyz? I know that we can be a lot of fun, don't take ourselves too seriously, and to top it off, the straight guys don't have to worry about buying us drinks, etc., because we have our own. So in some instances, I guess it's a good thing for them to hang with us.
But here is when it gets to me a bit. There will always be the self-proclaimed straight man, who has been in our midst for a good amount of time, to take it a bit too far. They get very aggressively "playful" and sooner or later starts to act like a bit of an ass in our presence. I guess sometimes we can chalk it up to the guy just trying to assert some masculinity. But for me, it just smacks of fear, sometimes a fear of living life as a gay man.
And there are some of these guys who get a swelled head thinking that all of us gay boyz are just fawning all over them. They will ask pointed questions like "What would you like to do to me?" or "You know I'm straight, right?" Boy, when their questions start to resemble these, they should begin to realize that their status in the circle of gays has reached its limit.
At this point, straight dudes, you have to make a decision - either pull back and get a grip (possibly become less visible in our circle), or come out as a gay man. I'm sorry, but if you get such joy out of flirting with the gays and having us flirt mercifully right back at ya, then there is something deep down that you haven't yet come to terms with in your own being.
Now some straight guys don't act like this at all, and I adore hanging with them as much as I can. But there are a few ... and if any straight guy that you are hanging out with in your circle of friends begins to act in this way, pull him aside and let him know what he needs to do.
I know of one or two straight guys in my midst that need a reality check. And trust - it's inevitably for their own good.
