Advice: Take a break from the stresses of life to honor your God-given talent

It’s been said that God blesses all of us with a special talent. I’ve always known that my special talent is creative writing. Also, it is a well-known belief that we should never squander the talents we’ve been blessed with holding.
These past few weeks, especially, I’ve had a few conversations with my Mama. She’s passed away a couple of years ago, but I still talk to her all of the time, especially when I feel like no one else will fully understand what I’m going through. I’ve kept myself away from most people these past few weeks – not because of any one thing in particular; primarily because things have been far too overwhelming, both personally and professionally.
I won’t go into details … that’s not actually the focus of this blog. But because I’ve needed some time by myself and so I could figure out things about myself, I’ve been asking Mama for some of her special brand of advice. I know that it has been time to finish my novel, get the re-workings done, and get it out there. It has been long overdue. The novel I’ve been struggling with deals with issues from a few years back.
For weeks, I wasn’t sure whether I should just sit back and focus on being alone, or if I should complete what I’ve started some time ago. My Mama wanted me to finish the workings of my novel awhile back, but I put it off because I wanted to focus on my professional life, as well as having my share of personal enjoyment. To do so (or so I've rationalized with myself over the years), I didn't make as much time as I could with her. Well I know all too well that life is short, and if you are going to put your mark on this world, you’d best do it before it’s too late. Mama wanted to do that for a long time, but as she said, "Life just got in the way!"
I got a personal message from Mama a couple of weeks ago, something only the two of us could have known the significance surrounding. But thanks to her message, I know that my focus in the coming weeks needs to be on my novel and to steer clear of anything blocking my path. What I’ve always found solace in was my writings (thus the reasons surrounding my introspective blog, among other projects).
Of anything else, I can’t ignore the completion of my novel any longer. Most of what’s in my novel was worked on prior to Asbury Park. Mama always knew that my novel was a huge part of my existence, and making it to the finish line with the book was my personal goal.
As I need some time away from a lot of exterior things in my life, now is the best time to just concentrate fully on my novel’s completion. Sometimes you need to take yourself out of the equation, so things in your life will equal out to a complete circle. So if you haven’t, or don’t, see me for awhile just know that I’m still alive, I’m just working on myself and my novel. Bernadine still loves ya!
So my only advice to others, as well as myself, would be to never sacrifice your God-given talent for other things seeming more pertinent in your life. If you don’t use it, it may just be taken away. I’m taking a 30-minute break just to write this blog, but I’m getting back to the book right after.
So I’m using my talents … how ‘bout you?

Once upon a time in a land far, far away was a city called Gayton Place

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a spirited, fabulous city called Gayton Place.
In Gayton Place, there was a community filled with fantastic fairies, fierce queens and blossoming butch bitches. Now in this city, you truly never knew who a person could actually trust. So many people were out for themselves, never really looking to what they could do to make life simpler for others.
But, there were always people who, no matter what, would always be a sparkling presence in the lives of others. Those individuals usually gravitated toward one another, and those groups of people were called “destinies.”
Years ago two of those individuals, Josephine and Delia, found each other. The two young gals became the bestest of friends, totally inseparable. No one could separate them, no matter how much anyone tried. It was, what some would call, friendship of soul mates.
Josephine was somewhat reserved, but fiercely loyal. She came from a religious background and her father worked long, hard hours to make sure his family never wanted for anything – he was a self-made successful businessman and law enforcement official who made sure the family had a financial blanket to fall back on. He instituted trusts for his children, and Josephine – in a way – always counted on it. By her father doing such things, she believed that family is not always blood-related; often family was friends who would give their left leg just to make sure her family/friends were safe. Josephine believed that love existed, but lost trust over the years that it was ever really possible. But she knew that if she found love, she would do as much as she could to make it work. A hard worker and stubborn in her own right, she knew that anything worth having was worth working for. She wasn’t the type of person, from her upbringing, to take handouts. She always had a boatload of friends, whom she revered as family. That’s the way she always wanted it to be, especially in Gayton Place.
Delia didn’t grow up in Gayton Place; she lived in a town for years somewhat less desirable but where a person learned how to survive. Since growing up there, she knew how to handle herself in any situation and made sure things always turned out her way. She knew the strength of family, and once she moved to Gayton Place, she made sure her family of friends lived in a place they felt safe. In her mind, love of a good man wasn’t anything that would ever be needed to make her be a whole person. In her estimation, if love came – fine, but she wasn’t going to look for it or allow it into her life easily. A player by any means, Delia was not the type to settle down with any man. Love was just a concept that people fell into to make themselves feel safe; it wasn’t for her. Delia could be described as a businesswoman who made a name for herself in Gayton Place. People respected her, and knew that friendship and respect meant so much to her. A bit controlling in her ways maybe, but that was her charm. Some people liked that about her; they knew where she stood on situations.
So when Josephine and Delia found each other’s friendship, some were surprised because of their upbringing and the way each handled situations. Best friends, neither ever wanted to see the other hurt. They would always do everything in their power to make the other feel loved and each had the others’ back – always.
Prior to becoming friends, both had their share of romantic relationships. Delia had a few boyfriends, but nothing really stuck as long-term. Josephine had three significant romances over the years. The first one, although very good in the beginning months, turned ugly after the first year’s anniversary, as her man fell into the world of drugs and ended up being abusive – emotionally and physically. When he was carted off to rehab following an overdose, the two parted company. Although the two loved each other, Josephine was deemed an enabler and not positive for his recovery. The second romance lasted almost two years, but ended when Josephine stopped paying for everything – including his bills and making him happy. Once she put the brakes on the money, he accelerated into the world of infidelity. That breakup was very vocal in the community – and very ugly. The two rarely talk nowadays when running into each other in Gayton Place. The third relationship ended after a 6-month stint … let’s just say that ended when Josephine discovered he had a partner in another state. And one thing Josephine would never do is be the other woman in any relationship.
But I digress. During Delia and Josephine’s friendship, there was never another man who split their time. The two were inseparable, and everyone in Gayton Place was well aware. It was a friendship most aspired to have in their own lives, and if you were lucky enough to find a friend like those two, you considered yourself lucky.
Delia and Josephine worked together on projects, so they were tighter than ever. Sadly, one of the projects the two of them worked on together, Josephine’s parents weren’t extremely happy about because they felt like she was just putting her money into it without getting anything back. “An awful business move” is how it was referred, and Josephine’s father put her trust on hold until she began to act more “responsible” with her business dealings.
So Josephine sucked it up and did what she needed to do to make ends meet, without allowing herself to burden anyone in her life. Pride was something of utmost importance to her, and that was just the way things were always going to be.
After some time had passed, Josephine’s parents decided to put their confidence back into her and ultimately decided to reinstate her trust. “The struggle was worth it,” Josephine thought, “because the parents know I can hold my own and know that the way the project’s funding was handled was the best way for me to go.”
Josephine was happy again, she could get things back on track financially. Sadly, a bit of tragedy occurred shortly thereafter. Delia found herself in a situation where she was in trouble, and to save her from the situation where she would find herself in financial and judicial burden, Josephine stepped up and took the fall.
Well, Josephine didn’t step up – she was sort of pushed into the situation. Josephine didn’t care, because she knew that in any sort of situation, she’d actually always take a bullet for her best friend Delia. That’s just the way she handled her loving friendships.
Soon after, through word-of-mouth in a number of ways, Josephine’s father discovered what she had done, and decided that Josephine was not ready to handle some situations in her life, and held the trust back again – this time indefinitely. Josephine was already in a career spiral, having to deal with a backstabbing friend and co-worker who underhandedly took the promotion and hefty pay raise she was in line to receive, so losing that funding was a huge blow. But she did what she needed to do to make ends meet.
But sadly, one thing she had to cut back on was hanging out as much socially. Either that, or start eating Ramen Noodles. And trust, Josephine knew what it was like to eat that in college; she wasn’t ready for that. So she got a second job and made ends meet as best she could. She thought everyone would understand; plus it wasn’t like no one would never see her again – just not as much. After all, everyone knows what you need to do to survive, especially in Gayton Place. And Josephine prided herself on never, ever having to “work” the room for drinks; it just wasn’t her style.
Shortly thereafter, things between Delia and Josephine got a bit tense when Josephine began spending a little time with a new man, Gulliver. It was merely casual, just the two of them hanging out here and there – nothing big or serious, just hanging out, joking around and the little bit of time they got to spend together, she learned a lot about him. People in Gayton Place had already started gossiping, but that happens everywhere you go … that’s just life.
So Josephine made every valiant effort to make sure she still was visible out and around Gayton Place, a few times being forced to eat Ramen Noodles just so she didn’t take away any time from hanging with Delia. After all, the two of them hung out at least five times a week. Josephine knew it was getting tight financially for her, and she confided in Delia her situation and let her know that due to what has happened financially, she couldn’t be out as much. Of course, being the friend Delia was, she offered numerous times to let Josephine hang and not have to deal with the financial part of it. And of course, pride and the way she was brought up, Josephine couldn’t let that happen often.
A couple of weeks later, even though Josephine was able to find a little funds here and there and hang out in the city with Delia, that, Josephine soon discovered, was not enough. A couple of weeks after working a double-shift just so she wasn’t homeless next month and had some funds to survive, Josephine decided to stop out and meet up with Delia.
Imagine Josephine’s surprise when she finally arrived, and Delia, although a few drinks into the night, was immediately hurtful with her words. Josephine chalked it up to the alcohol and just let it slide; after all, she figured Delia had a rough night at work and didn’t mean to say anything hurtful. It was then, after about a half hour, that Delia said something to her best friend that ripped Josephine to the core.
Angry that Josephine hadn’t been able to hang out as much, Delia accused her of being a disloyal friend because she hadn’t been out as much, and, to paraphrase Delia’s words, if you were a loyal friend, you would be hanging out with me a lot more, and your crazy-in-the-head asshole new man wouldn’t be here.
Funny, the insult to Gulliver didn’t phase Josephine at all; she knew how Delia felt about him and just pretty much laughed that off. What broke Josephine’s heart was the accusation that she was not a loyal friend, since her “loyalty” was what kept Delia out boiling hot water late one night a few months prior, something that no other person in Delia’s life would never, ever do for her.
Josephine decided to just let sleeping dogs lie and forgive – not forget – all the unfortunate things Delia said to her. She just hung out with her best friend over the next few days and didn’t bring it up again.
After the few days hanging, and thinking things were all smoothed over and back to normal, Josephine was utterly devastated to hear, from a number of people in Gayton Place, that her best friend was saying awful things about her. You see, Josephine and Delia had a blood-oath promise – if either of them ever had any sort of issue with the other, they would talk directly to each other about it; no one, no one in Gayton Place would hear about it. It was a promise that Josephine held dear to her heart, and realizing that Delia did not hold the same weight to the promise, she knew the two of them would never be the same again, especially after Josephine put her financial, judicial and legal safety on the line for her best friend.
After Josephine actually overheard Delia expressing to someone how mad she was at Josephine for not being loyal, even though Delia was drunk, it was just too much for Josephine to bear. She decided to pull Delia aside – one-on-one – and discuss the issue. Delia couldn’t handle Josephine’s hurt and sadness over all that had transpired, and decided to walk away.
The two haven’t spoken since … well Gayton Place is talking all about it, and sadly as in many situations, have taken sides. Sometimes a sincere apology is all that is needed in any situation, but alas, that doesn't seem like it will be forthcoming. At the moment, this fairy tale hasn’t been given an ending.
You can write its ending … go for it. I need an ending for my children’s fairy tale before submitting it to my publisher. Can anyone help me with it?

Charlie, you will be sorely missed by all of us ... fly, fly, fly my friend

This may very well be the most difficult blog post I’ve had to write thus far.
As most have already heard, one of our own, Charlie Gurrera, passed away Tuesday. He was one of the most influential, supportive members of not only the LGBTQ community, but all communities.
I’m sure all of us will forever be touched by our experiences with Charlie. He touched so many people’s lives, and made everyone feel so welcome who walked through the doors of Georgie’s, the bar where he served as manager.
Everyone has their own memories that they can hold dear to their hearts. Just one week prior to his death, it was my birthday. I celebrated my birthday at Georgie’s, and as soon as Charlie saw me walk through the door, he made sure to come over, give me a kiss and hug, order me a celebratory drink on him, and laugh as he made sure to supply me with jello shots, as we joked that I had posted on Facebook that I was looking forward to my jello shots and he wanted to make sure I got my birthday wish.
That was just a small part of the type of person Charlie was in our lives. Whenever one of us in the community were struggling with something, having a great day, or just trying to have fun, he was there to offer support, possibly an ear, a laugh, or (and this is funny to me for reasons only he and I know) a half-priced drink coupon.
I haven’t mentioned this too much as of this moment, but when I needed a chance, he was there. A couple of years ago, the job that I had worked so long and hard to reach the top of the ladder cut me loose and laid me off. I had put my life into that job, and in the process neglected a lot of my life, my mother in particular. Then she passed away and I lost that job. I had to reinvent myself, and in the process, I attended bartending school and received my certification.
Unfortunately, except for my best friend Ryan – who allowed me to bartend some at his place, Hotel Tides, most places in the community didn’t want to take a chance on me. It was difficult and I felt very defeated. I think Charlie knew this, and he was going to allow me to do some work at Georgie’s. Turned out shortly after, I took another job back in the media environment.
But still, Charlie was willing to take a chance, when so many other places didn’t want to do it. That meant a lot to me, as most may see me as a proud man and I don’t like to show a weaker side.
I know that so many in the community have their own Charlie moments. His friends, whom he always considered his family, can take some solace in the knowledge that he knew that he was loved, and there are so many photos, videos and snapshots of how much you all loved him.
Being an editor in the media industry, we are always forced to inform the world of the straight facts on something like this. But straight news is not the way this would go. Not only because I considered Charlie a friend, but because so many times, the person is not what the news is on that person in the end – it’s what their entire life and the lives they touched means to the world.
Charlie was an entrepreneur, a staunch supporter of all things LGBTQ, a funny, endearing, passionate young soul who was taken from us far much too soon. He was much more than that to so many of us, and will be sorely missed.
So Charlie, this is for you, a verse from my favorite song, Billy Joel’s “Vienna”:
“Slow down, you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
it's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize … Vienna waits for you?
And you know that when the truth is told
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
Why don't you realize,. Vienna waits for you
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?”

Down for reconstruction

A few people had asked when I was going to put out a new blog post, so this is just to get viewers up to speed.
After a couple of months almost feeling like I've been on a rollercoaster, and just dealing with some personal and professional issues, I'm going to take a break from being the gay blogger reporting on Asbury Park's positives and craziness.
I guess I may as well add this bit of information to the blog as well. If you don't see me out and about that often, don't worry, I'm not dead (hopefully not!) Being out in Asbury so much is somewhat stressful at times, and after hearing four little words from my doctor today, I know a break is needed. The words, "Your numbers have spiked", has been something I've been working double-time to never hear.
I'm not going to go into any details as to things that have been going on, but just know that everything will be fine.
So I'm going down for some reconstruction and refocus.
Much love to all! And don't worry ~ I'll announce when the blog will be back up and running.
Peace!

Is imitation really the sincerest form of flattery? Well I'm not convinced

With the news breaking that SandBlast will be taking a hike from Asbury Park and skipping down to Atlantic City this summer, many people seem to have some mixed reactions.
I’m not actually sure how the residents and tourists in AC will greet this, but I hope the organizers of SandBlast are prepared for it. I’m not saying that it won’t be a good thing; I’m just saying that for us in Asbury Park, we got a lot out of having it here. Businesses profited. Residents, although at times bothered that they had to walk miles to get to their own homes since parking was very limited, enjoyed the festivities.
It was a good source of income for Asbury Park. That’s just a fact.
But I have to say, instead of focusing on what SandBlast brought to the community, it might be a good time to reevaluate what we, ourselves, have been doing to each other – all in the name of “good, healthy” competition.
Now I already know that this blog post will not be the most popular, but some things need to be said. Some of us really need to take a good, long look in the mirror and make sure that we have been the best that we can be. In the name of competition, it has been my opinion that some people have been stepping on others’ toes and making rash decisions when individuals haven’t been acting in ways that suited their needs.
For instance, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery … but that’s not always the case. If someone, be it a person or company, has a profitable idea under their belt, I believe (in my opinion) that the idea should not be replicated by anyone else. When a person tries to “replicate” someone else’s profitable ideas to drum up business in the community, that is not imitation – and it’s not flattering. It’s, in a word, snatching.
Not only that, but it’s obvious. I can never understand why one bar/restaurant would ever do the exact same thing another bar/restaurant is doing, on the exact same night, in an effort to steal their business. Some people, I’m sure, are saying that I’m just a naïve fool who doesn’t understand the ways of the world. And you may be correct in your assessment. But everyone is entitled to their opinions, and this is mine. Sorry about it … but not sorry about it.
Just come up with your own ideas, and be successful on that level. It’ll make you feel so much better. Well, one would hope, right?
It also saddens my heart when people in the community are penalized for trying to make a living. We all keep saying that we in the LGBTQ community want to work together, live in harmony and have equality in every way, shape and form. Well let’s start with ourselves as members of the LGBTQ community.
We need to start setting examples, because if we don’t, we have no right to complain about others. I understand that competition is tight in the LGBTQ bars and restaurants. But it just boggles this gay man’s mind when a performer, bartender, server, security guard, disc jockey, entertainer, etc., etc. loses their way of making a living – and some are making a living in the industry and nowhere else – because they need (not want but NEED)to work in two or three different venues in the community.
Now I’m not pointing fingers or even intimating that I understand why or what the reasons are. But in my humble opinion, if we are to show the straight community that we can rise above the ways they handle themselves, we need to demonstrate by example. Let’s share the talents that make our community stand out and have others take notice.
Okay, I say all this to say what, you ask? The point of my mindset is this: If a person, organization or business can be admonished and punished for doing the same type of things at two different venues, then how in the hell can people make any justifications in their ways of thinking that it is somehow okay to try to do the same events that another person, organization or business is doing?
Can someone explain this to me? $2 dollars to the person who can explain this concept to me … $5 to the person who can look me in the eye, with a straight face, and make sense when you do it!
So if it’s good business to imitate ideas, then why don’t we as a community get together and “imitate” SandBlast – under a different name – but on the same weekend? Let’s practice what we preach, because if you can justify why we do that to each other, then I’m sure we can pull off a more spectacular imitation of this event.
And as the Pink Prom is fast approaching, I’d just like to say that if anyone tries to snatch that idea/concept from me, good luck New Jerseyans because that is patented to me and Bernadine will SHUT---IT---DOWN! This admittedly naive person learned his lesson after seeing some of the things that go on. You’re welcome!

Welcome back Bernadine, you've been missed so very, very, very much!

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve blogged, for the most part because I was a little fearful that so many things were going on and Bernadine might go a bit too far in reading people for their crazy actions. Well, I’ve missed the writing so much that I just can’t stop doing what I do best, right?

And I must say, if I’ve ever seemed like a bitch, this blog is going to make me seem like an absolute asshole to some people! Now I would apologize in advance, but as Mama always said, “Once you get to be a certain age, and have so much life under your belt, never apologize for anything you say – you’ve earned it!”
So, here goes.

Crazy is as crazy does

There’s this guy who hangs around Asbury Park every now and again, and most people might know who I’m talking about if I say the word “jukebox junkie.” He always plays the jukebox, and forces everyone to listen to his type of music. Some bartenders just can’t take it, and to be honest, some patrons as well.

Now this guy is a good person and he’s alright, but you just never know what you’ll get from him or how he will act in a situation.

So a couple of months ago, this person tried to get into an altercation with me (or should I say Bernadine) about the jukebox, and once all was said and done, Bernadine won. So this person not only cut off all connection with myself, but my good friends as well. To be honest, I wasn’t upset. In fact, I was slightly relieved.
Well all of a sudden, he’s back and acting as if nothing ever happened! He talks to us like the last couple of months were some sort of dream and he’s picked up like nothing has changed.  It creeps me out a little – hell, a lot. I have no idea what to make of it all. So I try to steer clear of him as much as I can.
People are just weird sometimes!

We miss you Christy

As many in the community already know, Georgie’s drag superstar Christy Girlington decided to not continue her Classic Drag Show at the bar a couple of months ago. There’s a distinct reason that Christy is one of my favorite drag queens … she not only entices the audience with her slapstick comedy, but she puts on a damn good show.
She enlists great drag performers to strut their stuff on the stage. She makes the crowd feel like they are a part of the action. And she will read us bitches in the crowd and actually make us laugh at ourselves.
Christy will be missed, and I’m just that sort of patron who likes to watch the drag shows that aren’t the ordinary. Christy has been replaced by former Miss Paradise, The LadyMarisa, a talented performer in her own right.
Okay, I’m just going to say to check out her performance for yourselves. Now as for me, for someone who likes the type of drag performance that Christy brings to the stage, I don’t want to see the drag at Georgie’s become just like all the other drag shows around Asbury Park.
I’m not saying that it will; I’m just saying that I want to see a little more. So I’m hoping that The LadyMarisa will bring us a little more than what we see at the other places. Actually I’m hoping that we still get to see some “KiKi for the Coin”, a little lip synching for their lives to see who wins the night.
Let’s just hope we get more than the norm. I’m sure she can do it. And speaking of performances …

Put in your dues

When I started my career life in the world of journalism, I started at the bottom. I started as a reporter, then investigative journalist, then copy editor, then graphic designer, then associate editor, then night desk editor, then digital editor, to news editor.
In brief, I put in my dues.
There have been a number of performers, artists, writers, etc. who have just started in their craft and then (PUFF) – instant stardom. The only problem is – some people like to see the path that some performers take. It’s so interesting; it makes the performer more enticing for the audience. We root for them.
When a performer seems to have the expected rationale to feel like they have the ability to catapult past all those who have climbed the ladder – step by step – and put in their dues, it leaves a sour taste in some people’s mouths.
All Bernadine is saying is that make sure to climb that ladder – step by step – so your audience will root for you and give you much more support in the community. It will pay in deuces in the long run. But that’s just one person’s opinion … no, actually, that is a lot of people’s opinions. I just said it.

Word of caution – date in your generation

I’ve been a guilty person of this very crime in the recent past. I’ve had the distinct honor of falling into this trap. But as of late, I’ve come to the realization that it just doesn’t work out in the long run.
It’s funny – my Mama used to make sure that I always knew that if I tried to date someone who wasn’t a part of my generation, it wouldn’t work out. I miss her so very much, if for no other reason, than her keen knowledge that she knows me inside and out.
Now to clear it up, when I say dating in your generation, I don’t mean to date someone your own age. Not at all. What I mean by that phrase, courtesy of Mama, is that you can date someone not in your age category. A guy 50 years old can date someone in their late 20s, early 30s. That's not what I’m saying.
What I’m saying, when referring to generation, is the same mindset. For me, I will give up my seat to an elderly woman. So I need to date someone who will do the same. For me, I ask a person out on a date or some event. So I need someone in my life who will not only do that, but will also follow up if they are asked. If they wait too long, I lose interest. Time is of the essence with me, and life is too short to dilly-dally around. For me, I put others’ needs above myself. So I need to date someone who does the same.
That’s the “generation” to which I refer. I just don’t know why I’ve forgotten that. That’s me! I never settle. But I’ve done that in past years just to have someone near me. Mama drilled self-respect into my being, into my self-esteem. When she passed away, it seemed to be as if I’d forgotten that part of me. Suddenly, it has become clear all over again.
I guess because of events such as the prom, I’ve let Mama’s knowledge about myself, the man that I am and have always been, fall by the wayside. After all, who wants to attend a huge event solo? But it’s okay … my brain is working again. This weekend I had a dream where she told me “Stop chasing guys who just can’t keep up with YOU!” Thanks Mama, message received!

2^nd Annual Pink Prom

Speaking of the prom, the fundraising event of the season will take place Friday, May 2^nd. Tickets are $75 each and go on sale March 1^st. A blog will be forthcoming in a few days.
Details about the prom can be viewed at the following Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/1456540244569037/
But courtesy of myself and Ryan Jimenez, general manager of the Hotel Tides Restaurant & Spa, we will be giving away free tickets to the prom this Thursday at The LadyMarisa’s “Glitter and Glam” drag show at Georgie’s, the premiere of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Season 6 viewing party at Hotel Tides on Monday, Feb, 24^th, and at Stephanie Hunnell and Peter James Calafiore’s fundraising event “Charity Begins at Home @ Cameo” on Sunday, Feb. 23^rd.

Center of attentions need not apply

I love to be the life of the party. Who doesn't?
But one type of guy who is never a match for this guy would be those who just have, just must be the center of attention. I've seen a couple of those guys out and about, and rest assured, I lose interest fast!
Those people don't get too far with me. In a crowded room, with a wide array of people who know me and who I love to interact, if someone ever needs for Bernadine to pay all attention to them ... safe to say, that's not gonna happen. And plus, I wouldn't want the guy to treat me like I was the only one in the room. To be honest, for me, it gets to be way too much.

Oh, and by the way ... Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Just consider this my Valentine's gift to you all!