Who knew getting a bartending gig around Asbury would be so difficult?

I've recently had to reinvent myself. The company and career that I devoted almost 60 hours a week burning myself out on cut my position (and me) due to the poor economy and cutbacks in the industry. After spending a little while assessing my life and what I truly wanted to do with my life, I finally figured out what I needed to do to be satisfied.
I knew that I wanted to follow my dream of becoming a teacher. To supplement my income until I finished schooling for my teaching certification, I knew that bartending would be a great thing to do. I felt like bartending would be a profession that I'd enjoy, and during the summers when school was out of session, I could bartend.
I entered bartending school and studied the hundreds of cocktails and how to make them correctly. I mixed drinks and memorized the formulas night and day for a few weeks. I studied the different types of alcohols, where they were from, how to mix them correctly, and the right amount of alcohol to use.
And after the weeks of studying, mixing and throwing myself into the world of mixology, the final testings and exams were finally here. And I think I did cartwheels when I passed the testing with flying colors and acheived my certification. Hot damn, I was a certified mixologist. I was gung-ho to jump into the bartending arena. Nothing could stop me now.
Or so I thought.
I've sent out dozens of resumes, filled out a slew of applications at dozens and dozens of bars, restaurants and establishments all along the Jersey Shore (and most everywhere in Asbury Park) and in New York City and Philadelphia. No one is hiring me. And to top it off, even the places that are actively seeking a bartender are passing me by. They want experience in the bars, and even though I kicked ass in bartending school, that may not be enough for these businesses.
Well, how do these businesses expect me to get experience behind the bars unless they give me the opportunity to do so? If anyone has a suggestion, I'd love to hear it.
Now I've never been a proponent of affirmative action. After all, I broke down the doors in the publishing industry by busting my ass to be the best editor I could be, and I never wanted any help in climbing the ladder at any newspaper or magazine I worked at; working long hours and giving 150 percent to all my projects was what I had to do to move up the ladder in my companies. My work always spoke for itself, and I didn't want to be given a chance just because I was a minority.
Right now, after going through the hell I've gone through in the past few months, my thinking has been slightly altered with regards to affirmative action. Everyone is looking for a job, and I will take whatever help I can get to snag a new job. Working is my life, and want to take my life back!
Now I am sure that all these establishments have done their best to make sure they have hired their fair share of minorities. And I don't want to jump up on my soapbox and rock the boat. But in Asbury Park alone, I think I've been able to count the number of black bartenders on one hand. On the outer parts of Asbury and along the Shore, there may be a few more.
Now maybe only a handful of black bartenders have applied for these jobs, but when I go into some of these places, it hits me like a ton of bricks. To make sure I wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill, I would revisit some of these places to make sure I wasn't missing anything or that there were minorities working on other shifts. But not too much luck in that; it's possible I just missed them.
I even asked a couple of the places how many minorities they have bartending. One said they had to get back to me; another one told me that's not information they can give out. Really?!?
I'm not trying to offend any of these establishments with my feelings on this issue, because this is just my opinion (I repeat - MY OPINION). But as my frustration grows, I'm at a loss because the level of race breakdown is appearing to be disproportionate in the numbers.
Again, all this is my opinion and this is just my venting on a subject that I think needs to be discussed - if not openly, then in people's minds. I feel that this issue is not really discussed in open forums any longer because people may think it's a moot point.
Maybe it is a moot point and I'm just talking nonsense, thinking too much and wearing my heart and conscience on my sleeve. It wouldn't be the first time. But what if I'm not and this is an issue that needs to be revisited? Who would it hurt?
Better yet ... who would it help?

Don't worry ... your man's probably not hot enough to handle these guys

I was out Saturday night dancing at a club in Asbury, and while out, my friends and I made a very odd observation.
There was a small party at the club, and it was a bunch of straight couples. Every now and again the club has parties there with straight couples and they are a blast to party with, but this time, it was a bit disturbing.
I'm sure the ladies knew that they were partying in a gay establishment, and it's not only because the place was flanked with guys hanging out in groups and dancing freely with each other on the dance floor. I mean, really, the club advertises that it's gay.
But how did we know they were incredibly astute to their surroundings? Because the women were holding onto their men for dear life. These women were leading their men along with them holding their hands as tight as a mother holds her young child so they don't lose their grip and run off. They had their arms intertwined with their guys, almost suffocating them in a death grip. We even noticed a woman literally attached to their man's back, as if they were Siamese twins. Usually that's a sexy look and oh-so-cute, but not this time.
Now I know that some of us gay men do hit on any guy with a pulse. But to be honest, these women were not particularly attractive, and their men were no prettier.
So why did these women act this way in a gay establishment? Fear.
Fear that their men would be vulnerable to being flirted with and hit on by a gay man. Fear that their relationships weren't strong enough to survive a knowing glance from another fella.
It was so funny that it was tragic ... and insulting. Women, I think for the most part, you all are amazing people who should be admired. I do feel that way about the women I know, whether straight or gay. But if I don't know you, it would be my opinion that you really don't need to worry that I'm going to steal your man. I don't go after straight dudes ... they are too much trouble.
When I overheard one of these women say to her man "Just don't even engage or act like you are flirting with these guys because they don't know their boundaries", well I went from thinking this travesty was tragic, to thinking that it is becoming downright insulting.
Most straight women who come into these gay clubs are either just hanging with their girls for a night of crazy dancing with a bunch of guys who they don't have to worry about impressing, or they are involved in a bachelorette party. I love when these women are around, because they know how to act when they are around the gay community in the club.
But when these desperate housewives (and I'm not saying all housewives who come in there are desperate or insulting) hang out in the club, don't insult the gay community by making snarky comments about us gay men being desperate enough to try to steal their husbands. Your man is probably not hot enough ... and as in this past weekend's occurrence, that statement is so on the money.
So women, please chill out and just relax! Enjoy the music, dancing and alcohol, and stop worrying that your man is going to be a gay man's next conquest. And straight guys, stop letting your wives, girlfriends and significant female companions treat you like you're property and drag you around the club like you are attached at the hip ... it makes you look whipped!
I love you all, now go out and party!