I’m not going to lie to you, this is the second most difficult blog post I’ve ever had to write. The hardest one for me to write to date was one from about six years ago, the one I penned the night before my mother’s funeral.
I just knew, well actually prayed, that no other blog would be even close to that one’s difficulty. This one, is that one. The one that comes extremely close. The one I prayed I’d never have to write.
Early Sunday morning, in a nightclub – Pulse – in Orlando, Fla., individuals were all enjoying a night of celebrating life, dancing, having fun with their friends at the gay club. The same thing we do here in Asbury Park, as well as every city/town across the globe. My fellow LGBTQ brothers and sisters at Pulse were not aware of what would transpire before the nightclub announced last call. Sadly, a gunman knew exactly what would happen.
As the gunman opened fire, he destroyed the dreams, hopes, prayers and the lives of over 100 people.
At this point, this is what is known:
Gunman Omar Mateen killed 49 people and injured 53 others when he opened fire at the popular gay nightclub. Mateen was fatally shot by police;
Police have notified the next of kin for nearly all of the victims;
The FBI had questioned Mateen twice in the past, but he still legally obtained guns;
President Barack Obama said there were no links to a larger terror plot but that Mateen was inspired by “extremist information.”
So many lives were destroyed for what some may never know. This person, we’ve been told, had been to the nightclub numerous times and even reached out to some other gay men on social hook-up sites. Was he gay? Was he confused? Was he tortured in his younger years growing up?
I don’t know, and this is one gay man who doesn’t care! I don’t care what happened to Mateen in his life. I don’t care what he went through. I don’t care what forced him to do such a senseless, cowardice act. I just don’t give a damn.
This will be the last time I mention this monster’s name. He’s been given too much publicity, and I refuse to give him any further credence to live in infamy. He doesn’t deserve it. As a journalist, I have to lay out the facts as near as I can get them, which is why I had to mention the bastard.
I’ve had to stop and start writing this blog a number of times over the past couple of days. My mind just cannot wrap itself around why this happened. I do have one opinion, and it is something we may all have had to face. The LGBTQ community is in danger. We are being targeted for being who we are, and there are a lot of people out there who just do not like us, who hate us.
Not a lot of things frighten me, because I’ve been taught to never fear anything but fear itself. But I have to admit this, which is hard for me to do … I’m frightened. And I know too well that I am not alone in that feeling.
When I first heard about this tragic turn of events, I was flabbergasted, just totally in shock. As events unfolded throughout Sunday, I got mad, angry, tortured. I didn’t cry, mainly because I knew that I had to be strong for my many, many friends who would need a strong shoulder. I also didn’t want to break down in front of others. I’m not totally sure why; that’s just the way I was brought up.
Speaking with so many others that day, we all knew that we needed one another in a way that we may have never had to before. I have a tight-knit group of friends, as well as love and caring friendships for so many others. Sunday evening something very special happened … we brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community, as well as our fabulous heterosexual friends in the community who love and adore us, took a stand. A candlelight vigil was held at Paradise, Georgies and Hotel Tides – the three powerhouse LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly establishments in Asbury Park, and we all showed support for the Pulse Orlando victims, their families and friends whose lives were forever changed.
It was solidarity. It was something that we in the LGBTQ community do oh so well. We back each other up, support one another, give of ourselves for our LGBTQ family members in need, and we do something oh so fabulously as well – we come out swinging! It was so great to see it.
Then Monday morning arrived, and I woke up crying. Couldn’t stop crying. As I tried to write my blog that morning, it was impossible. Doing research online for the facts was just an impossible mission. Everywhere I looked, on social media sites, the tragedy was all around. Then I viewed a number of asses who were posting negativity about my community, and I just lost it.
I couldn’t write about the tragedy; all I could do was wipe away angry tears. I had no idea how I would be able to accurately cover the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history, one that targeted innocent people just like me, a gay person. All I could do is stop writing and regroup, in other words, watch a few episodes of “The Facts of Life”. After all, when that show was on the air – one of my favorites – all I needed to do in my life was do chores, go to school, play kickball with my team at the park, get good grades, and watch TV. I so desperately needed that time to return. Who knew growing up and being a responsible adult would hurt my heart as it was since the mass shooting?
I couldn’t stop there. I had to watch a slew of episodes of “The Golden Girls”, “Designing Women”, “Kate and Allie” and “Fame” – the shows that made me smile and not worry about life and death.
And now as I write this, I feel a bit regrouped. I’m ready to get moving and joining my LGBTQ brothers and sisters in our next move. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the Orlando shootings. And now it’s time for action.
There will be a lot of benefits, fundraisers, support systems in the next few days and beyond to assist our LGBTQ brothers and sisters in Orlando. We know how to come together, and we do it better than any other group. And I know that I need to do more. We can do more. We can make certain that not only our voices but also our spirits make a dent in the laws that protect us when it’s convenient for the political leaders.
I don’t know if they know it, or perhaps our country’s leaders may be in denial, but when the vast members of the LGBTQ community set their minds on getting something done, WE GET IT DONE! We don’t stop until we get changes made, and it’s time. It’s time for us to make things happen, to help protect us. We need to do it for us, our LGBTQ community. Because if we don’t do it, who will?
We are not second-class citizens, and we shouldn’t be shoved into the background and treated as less-than. We need to hold Senate, Congress, the future president, his or her staff, every single politician on the ropes, hold their feet to the fire and make sure they know that if any of them want to continue to have any say in our future, they need to answer to us. Do you know that as of now, the millions of members of the LGBTQ community, along with our allies, hold enough clout to make a difference in all elections? We hold enough clout to change the gun laws. We hold enough clout to make sure the candidate we want to lose the presidential election actually loses. We hold enough clout to make the LGBTQ community a force to be reckoned with.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hop up on my soapbox. But there are a slew of leaders in the LGBTQ community who want to make changes, by any means necessary. And I intend to be one of them.
Please, please don’t let the victims who lost their lives in that nightclub in Orlando die in vain. We are a strong, united community, all across the globe, and it’s time that everyone knows that we are tired of putting up with being victimized. No more. No more of it.
We can celebrate life by partying, clubbing, having the time of our lives. But let’s also join our LGBTQ leaders in making a powerful difference. Because remember this – the tragedy in Orlando could have happened in Asbury Park, Philadelphia, Manhattan, Rehobeth, P-town, Fire Island, Vancouver, New Hope, West Hollywood, the list goes on and on.
Let’s not let this tragedy ever happen again. Let’s make a change. We owe it to them; we owe it to everyone who was in that nightclub.
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