Uplifting a person is great, but let's not get carried away

Welcome back!
I took a slight hiatus from writing my blog just to regroup, figure out some personal/professional issues, work on a rewrite of a novel, and to deal with a lot of situations surrounding my eye surgery (which I underwent on August 25th).
But I’m back, and ready to delve into my LGBTQ community in Asbury Park and see what issues need some shade, ‘er I mean light, shed on it. I began writing a blog a couple of months ago, but I held off on its publication because I wasn’t sure if it would cause me any bad karma, especially since I knew I’d be undergoing surgery. Hey, I’m somewhat superstitious and don’t need any bad karma landing in my lap pre-surgery.
But after some self-reflection, I decided to post it now. It’s a topic that has been needing some attention since so many people have raised a concern about it, and to top it off, it’s a topic that has gotten under my skin for some time.
I would begin this post by saying, “Don’t take it too seriously because I don’t mean anything by it.” But in all reality, I couldn’t care less if anyone’s feelings are hurt or their egos are slightly deflated. Why, do you ask? Well, I don’t care if anyone’s egos are deflated because that is, essentially, the target of this blog post. People’s over-inflated egos. And trust me, there are way too many of them in Asbury Park’s LGBTQ community. And I can’t totally blame them for it, because there are way too many individuals who are blowing up some people’s egos like adding helium to an already over-inflated balloon.
Some people are getting dozens of accolades and awards for doing things that they should be doing simply because they are part of the LGBTQ community. I mean, come on!
How many awards can a person in our community receive for putting together benefits, fundraisers and events? How many awards can a person get for writing about issues and other things affecting the LGBTQ community, especially if that is their job to do exactly that? How many honors or pats on the back can some people get for being a leader in the community, because the younger generation needs those leaders?
And then you have those who are way, way too confident for their own good, and you just walk on eggshells around them because you don’t want to crack that ego and have them go all ape-shit on you.
Now don’t get me wrong – it’s always a great thing to honor a person for the work that they do. I wholeheartedly agree with that concept. But when it’s done every few months, doesn’t it lose some of the impact? If I were alone in my thinking, I’d just keep it to myself. But sadly, I’m one of many who do feel this way.
I mean, unless you are an infant who is taking his or her first steps, we don’t need to honor a person every time they take a step, do we? It seems like we have fallen into that trap of doing this very act, but instead of taking a step, it’s doing an act.
So unfortunately, as our community has done this just a few too many times, it has caused a few members in our supportive LGBTQ community to blow others’ egos up to a massive size. Some people have begun to think that they are invincible, beloved to an extent that they might just expect a statue to be erected in their honor. Piling on accolades can also have an adverse effect … it could cause a person to become lax in helping the community and going above and beyond after time passes. They might feel as though their work is done.
I am all for giving people a pat on the back when they do something good for the community, but let’s not get carried away with the massive amount of praise. It is, indeed, going to some people’s heads in a less than positive manner.
That is why, last year, it was such a great idea to institute the #UPLIFT movement. The brainchild of one of my close friends, it shined a light on so many members of our community that do a lot for their brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community but seldom get any recognition. One of the reasons that movement was so inspirational and timely was because it was, truly, an honor to uplift someone who may work behind the scenes doing things for our community but it was also great to give a shout-out to those who didn’t make any great standing to pat themselves on the back.
Now this would be my suggestion:
Honor whomever you would like to honor, that’s everyone’s prerogative. But do so sparingly. Let’s not overdo the praises, because it not only may cause too many over-inflated egos in an otherwise close-knit community, but it may also cause others to get a little sick and tired of hearing the person’s name and about their grandeur.
I’m sure there will be those who don’t agree with this and who think it’s totally fine to pile on the praises. And you are entitled to feel that way because everyone has an opinion. It’s just a good thing that in my eyes and the confines of this blog, the only opinion that matters is my own.
Much love to all!