Have you ever seen the popular gay film, “Torch Song Trilogy?”
If you haven’t, you should really think about turning in your gay card. The film is, hands down, one of the best LGBTQ films ever made, let alone one of the best films period. True, in my estimation it is one of the best films, and since this is my blog, what I say goes.
But there is a scene in the film that is very topical currently for a number of reasons. The scene to which I’m referring is when Arnold, aka female impersonator Virginia Ham (performed flawlessly by Harvey Fierstien), is doing one of her numbers in the club, and a group of male hustlers (one of which is portrayed by Matthew Broderick) begin heckling and causing a major disturbance. The group is manhandling Virginia, shouting obscenities and trying to embarrass her.
At this point, one of the regular patrons – who thoroughly enjoys Virginia’s and the other drag queens’ performances – is so disgusted by the group’s blatant disrespect that he jumps out of his seat, pulls out a knife and threatens to stop the ruckus – by any means necessary. There are a number of times that I, myself – an ultimate fan of drag performances, felt like doing what that patron in the film did.
This brings me to the point of this blog post – how proper audiences should behave at a drag show.
One of my personal rules for this blog is to not flat-out name anyone, just for the cause of not pointing a finger or putting anyone on the spot. I’m breaking that rule, just this once. And I’m not pointing a finger, except perhaps to give a big thumbs-up to a number of drag queens who, literally, take my breath away with their awesome spirit, drive and performances.
The rule is being broken for this blog post because it not only leads into what I had to witness this past weekend, but also because it smacks of disrespect for drag performers all over the world. Some audience members for so many years have not given the performers their due respect, and it’s time that the tide has turned.
I won’t go into details, but this past weekend at an event, some audience members at a local drag event were so disrespect, so blatant in their ignorance that a popular drag queen had no choice but to “school” them on a couple of things not to do during a drag queen’s performance. And she was absolutely correct. For those of us who understand the proper etiquette, it just boils my blood to see audience members act so discourteous, disrespectful and out of control during a drag performance.
During her performance, they sat right off of the stage and spoke in such high volumes, loud and boisterous that I couldn’t even hear a queen read a question off of one of the game cards. And not only was she speaking into the microphone, but I was standing right next to the stage. To top off the rude display of ignorance, one of those jokers had the audacity to grab on one of the drag queens’ body parts – a definite no-no, not only during a drag performance, but even for a regular person casually walking down the street. Why does anyone have to tell a person this? You would think their parents raised them right, or at least made an effort to raise them right. No home training whatsoever!
These performers put their blood, sweat and tears into what they do, and they are there to entertain. It’s their job – for some of them it’s their career. And these performers warrant, no they deserve our respect. There’s a saying, “Being a drag queen takes big balls,” and that is true.
Now come on, people. Why anyone should have to share with you what proper etiquette should be during a drag performance – or any show, it’s just beyond me! But if I must, I will offer you a number of instances. It’s certainly not all of them, but it’s just a few to get you started on your way to knowledge and understanding.
1) Do not grab at a drag queen’s body. No part of her body. You wouldn’t do it to a random woman walking across the bar, so don’t do it a drag queen walking across the bar.
2) If you must, absolutely must, talk loudly and in a boisterous, screeching voice, take a seat at the back of the bar, far enough away from the stage that it does not interrupt the performance and those patrons who wish to enjoy the performance can do so without hearing your loud mouth.
3) At some arenas, a drag queen’s stage is at the front, and the audience flows back several yards. Drag queens work for tips, and they deserve those tips. So if you don’t plan on taking any money out of your pocket to show respect for them and tip, please take a position away from the front of the stage to allow for tipping patrons to be able to do so and not struggle to get through the crowd just to tip them. When you do so, it’s almost too difficult for tipping patrons with a drink in the hand to make it through. Thus, some drag queens don’t get as much in tips as they should.
4) When a drag queen is speaking in the mic, SHE is speaking in the mic. Keep your mouths closed and don’t try to make yourself a part of her show. She’s got it covered; if she wants you to be a part of her show, she’ll call for you – don’t worry.
5) Unless you have to desperately go to the bathroom and the path there is right across the drag queen’s stage, there is no feasible reason that you must walk directly across her stage when she is performing. That would seem like the only emergency that would warrant a patron doing such an act. So if you need to cross her stage, do her a favor and wait the 4-5 minutes until her performance has concluded. Common decency, people. Common decency.
6) Don’t throw anything at a drag queen during her performance. Holy Mormon, Batman! I can’t even believe that I have to add this one on here, but sadly I do. I know you might want to be a part of the act, and think perhaps throwing a shirt, straws or ice is a good idea … trust me, it’s not. The only things remotely in the realm of decency to throw at a drag queen would be dollars at her feet or a little shade, but be prepared, because most every drag queen knows how to properly throw shade right back at you, and twice as razor sharp. So tread lightly with that. (*And for anyone who doesn't understand this, you can shower the STAGE with money as a tip, but THROWING money directly at a drag queen isn't the best course of action*)
These are just a few of the ways for patrons to display proper etiquette to drag performers during their shows. But if you’ve been guilty of doing any of these things, and if you believe none of these tips will help you to act a little better than you’ve been thus far, I suppose I only have one other suggestion that may bring it home for you.
You could try this … If all else fails, try acting how you would want an audience to treat you if you were doing drag. How about that?
Perhaps the reason why I can say that with all sincerity, and why it gets me a little heated when fellow patrons find it difficult to display proper etiquette during a drag show, is because of a little ole bitty named Olivia Twisted. Yes, I’ve performed drag years ago, when I first came out and tried to do my thing.
To be honest, sadly I was not very graceful at painting the mug. I did it just three times, but decided to put it on hold for a couple of reasons that, today, just seem to me like it was a cop-out. Those reasons: I know my mother was not accepting of her son wearing a dress, and her respect was everything to me. She was all for her son being a gay man, but she wouldn’t get on board with her gay son wearing a dress. She was way old school.
The other reason was because when I first came out, I didn’t have that support system, I didn’t have that close-knit group of family of friends in the gay community that I am proud to say I have now. All those years ago, it was just me, trying to make it as a young Black gay man on his own in a new world.
I have that courage these days that I didn’t have 15 years ago when I did it, because I’ve established myself in the LGBTQ community and on top of all that, I no longer give a damn what people think of me. It took me years to get to that point, and now here, it’s time to reintroduce Olivia Twisted. Hey, it’s just something I’m looking into and toying with at this point.
So if you are ever blessed to go to a show with a drag performer on stage, trust, it would be in your best interest to show proper etiquette. It’s very simple … and besides, you wouldn’t want to be embarrassed, because those memes of you acting like a damn fool at the drag shows will last forever.
Now go out and watch “Torch Song Trilogy” if you haven’t already.
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