Laughter in the rain

These days things are pretty stressful.
Those closest to me know that my mother has been struggling with poor health, and right now things look pretty shaky for her. I've been trying my best to prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
My friends have been there for me every step of the way. Odd, but my mother's illness helped me bridge the gap and allow a friendship to resume. I really didn't think me and my ex (two of them, actually) would be able to be friends after all that we've been through. But I can count these two as friends now.
I'm glad, because if possible, you should always try to maintain a sort of friendship with people who've you'd had relations with, especially when everyone in our combined groups are in such a close-knit community.
I've been pretty broken up about my family's situation and how we must come together and rally around our mother. You see the good and bad in people in times like these, and I love my family.
It's raining heavily outside my window, as I'm watching the waves near the Asbury Park boardwalk crashing hard against the beach. But that's not the rain the title refers.
The rain, actually, are tears. I really thought I was somewhat incapable of crying. Although I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve, only a handful of people over the years have witnessed me crying. I don't like people to see me cry - perhaps a pride issue, or could be that I've been taught to be strong and tough. That's where some people can see the "butch factor" in me.
But I do cry, and I've been doing a bit of it as I've been dealing with my mother's latest illness. For some reason, this time is different. She's really in a bad way, and I was standing in her hospital room last week, and I'd been told that she can sense what I would be saying to her. Still, I felt awkward because it's hard for me to open up to my mother even when she's conscious and able to answer me back.
I talked to her, and it was strange to not get any reaction (or opinion, for better or worse) from her. She always likes to "offer" her opinion on things, especially the fact that I'm a workaholic and don't get to see her all the time. It was just strange.
So that's the rain of which I speak. Now I'll tell you about the laughter.
The laughter has been a few instances over the past few days. Now I can laugh at myself so easily, but a few people in the gay community and their recent interactions with me - I'm not sure how much they were laughing with me (or at me, it's all according to how you look at it).
I was hanging out with one of my close friend Sunday night, trying to blow off steam, and hilarity ensued. It was like a string of events that, if I hadn't been there, I would have been pissed that I missed it!
First, we were at one of the bars in Asbury, and I ordered some food. Not an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence by any means, and I was legitimately hungry. I hadn't eaten too much, and hadn't had too much of an appetite as of late. So you know the feeling - this food, I was looking forward to more than usual.
This was actually the second time this happened to me, so the irony of the situation was not lost on me. Last time it was a friend who ate my food, so I chalked it up to sharing.
I went to the jukebox, and while I was gone, one of the lesbians in this bar (who I really can't stand too much) was drunk and out of her mind. Well, while I was at the jukebox playing songs, she ate my food! And I'd heard she owns a restaurant, so I would think she would have known better than to do that - whether drunk or sober! You know, I could have played the drama queen and confronted her, letting her know how pathetic she is and make her dish out the money to reimburse me. But instead, all of I could do was laugh uncontrollably with a few of my friends at the bar. It was hilarious after all!
Now the reason I said "one of the lesbians in this bar" is because some people are well aware that at this place, some lesbians (but definitely not all) act like they own the place. And they like to try to prove it. Really, some of them need to get a reality check, take a lesson from some of the other nicer lesbians in the establishment, and just stop the madness.
But this comedic moment was just the beginning of it all.
We left there and trekked a few blocks down to our next stop. A good guy in the city was having a birthday celebration, and it was also karaoke at the club. Now people who know me know that I love karaoke; if I could perform karaoke every night I'd be a happy camper.
One of my acquaintances asked me to dance to a karaoke song, and I agreed. So we were dancing, and as the song was ending, he decided to pull me into a dip. Now, I was not prepared for it, because the person leading is supposed to dip the other person; you shouldn't pull the lead into the dip - at least that's what I've been told. So when he did, I lost my balance and we went "BOOM" right onto the floor! I just started laughing uncontrollably ... it was hilarious! I don't think he thought it was as funny, but if you can't laugh at yourself -- well, you know the rest.
I know I needed that laughter very bad, and so I believe it was a good thing.
I thought I wouldn't get a chance to laugh again for awhile. But then last night I was feeling so out-of-sorts and pretty stressed because of work, my mother's condition and the family, and I decided to have a martini at one of favorite hangouts. And of course, since I didn't feel like being bothered, this was the night that some guy who I was not interested in talking to in the least kept grabbing me and trying to get me to talk to him. I told him politely that it was a bad day for me and I didn't want to be rude, but I just wanted to grab a drink and chill by myself - no offense.
So do you think he got the hint? Hell no he didn't! He kept bothering me and touching my hand while it was on the bar. Granted he was drunk, but I didn't want to be bothered by him. So when he moved a few seats down and fell asleep on the bar, I was ecstatic because he wouldn't be bothering me again. Seeing him fall asleep far away from me was funny, but the full-blown laughter came a few minutes later.
Another drunk guy (with whom I'm friendly) wanted to do a little PG-rated strip tease on the stage and when he tried to get up on the stage, he tripped and fell into the wall. Did that stop him? Hell no ... he immediately bounced to his feet like one of those balloon clowns that bounce back and forth as you hit it. Now I tried to keep from busting out in laughter 'cause I didn't want to embarrass him. But when I noticed another one of my friends saw this happen as well, we just looked at each other and fell out in loud laughter. Couldn't resist.
So you see - there can always be some laughter in the rain.
And as I'm laughing again as I'm writing this, I'm also praying for my mother.
And I ask that if you pray, that you pray for her as well. Thank you!