Hold up, slick, and get that ego in check!

A healthy bit of confidence is a good thing.
But some people take it just a bit too far.
I'm a pretty confident fellow, but I know where confidence ends and egomania begins. And I've made some definite moves to make certain I don't lean too far over the fence into "egotistical valley."
Now what I'm about to write relates to all people, but since this blog is focusing on Asbury Park's gay scene, that is who I'm going to reference in the following paragraphs.
It blows my mind that there are some gay men who think that just because you talk to them, flirt with them or toss a little attention their way that you would simply die if they didn't give you a kind word or two in return. Life for me would just end if they didn't talk to me ... or so that's the way a few of them act.
I've held discussions with a certain bartender in the city, and although he's interesting enough, it's not like he's the only conversation in town, so to speak. He's a good-looking fellow, I won't take that away from him. But he's not the cat's meow. And he really doesn't know anything about me, because whenever I'd sat down and hold a discussion with him, it was, pretty much, all about him.
Hey, I'm a good listener, and it's one of my better characteristics - all modesty aside.
But this guy seems a bit too egotistical in his assumption that I would fall all over him just to hear a kind word fall from his lips.
I don't really speak to him anymore, but whenever I do see him around town - more often than not he's two or three drinks past drunk - I just want to say to him, "Hold up, slick, and get that ego in check!"
If this particular bartender wasn't enough, there are more of these creatures lurking around the corner.
Another guy is a nice enough fellow, but I think he's trying his hardest to hold onto a past youth and make sure he still has "it". Well, I'll give him his props, too - this guy is good-looking, but he could get some tips from Rachel Zoe or Kenneth Cole in polishing off his choice of style and fashion.
But like I said, he's a good-looking guy and he's kind of sweet. But I've hung out with him a few times in the recent past and every time he sees me, he acts like he hasn't seen me in years and wants me to jump up and down and do cartwheels for him. You know the look - he's a condemned man who's eating his last meal, his request is a steak dinner, and I'm a Porterhouse!
It's kind of cute because he initiates the flirting session ... that is, until he acts aloof and gets awkward when we start to hold a conversation. Truth be told, I flirt a little too much sometimes. But when I speak (okay, subconsciously flirt ... okay maybe consciously) with this guy, he acts shy and retreats like I've just proposed marriage. Well if people don't want others to flirt back, they should not flirt at all.
But I've finally figured this guy out. He likes attention, but thinks he deserves the attention. He's trying to be a player who feigns innocence. He knows exactly what he's doing, and that latent egotism doesn't look cute any longer. I just want to say to him, "Hold up, slick, and get that ego in check!"
This particular fellow can steer clear of me from now on. Because if I see him coming in my direction, I'm gonna bust a move in the other direction.
And holy cow ... I love some of the straight guys who hang out in gay establishments. I love it how they feel so comfortable around us "homo-sexicals" (as Shirley Q. Liquor would say ... look her up if you want some hearty laughs). But I've run into one young gentleman who's straight - he must be, 'cause he keeps telling everyone, right ;-) And he just gets a kick out of gay men flirting with him.
We're not flirting with him; we're being friendly! Please, I wish this young gun would get it through his head that gay men are not always trying to pick up straight fellows. Sometimes we just like to be nice to people, and make them feel welcome in our environment. (Wow, "our environment" makes it sound like we live in a village far away from other human beings, huh? I've got to find another way to phrase that!)
But to this particular straight fellow, I just want to give him a little advice ... "Hold up, slick, and get that ego in check!"
Now I'm not saying that I am innocent, either. I flirt too much and play coy a little too often.
Right now I'm in a situation where absence of disinterest has led someone to think my feelings are a lot more than friendship. I've told this person that we are friends, but as we've had some relations in the past, I think this fact is lost on him.
And I, myself, am guilty of letting my ego get the better of me and letting things slide way too long. I thought my intentions were evident, but perhaps I have been experiencing my own brand of egomania. But I did clear the air with him, and I shudder to say that I am realizing that he still may not be getting the point. I guess only time will tell, and I'm going to behave myself.
So to myself, I just need to say, "Hold up, slick, and get that ego in check!"
Good news, though. I'm in the beginning stages of a new relationship with a smart, intelligent, successful man who, thank goodness, does not live in the Asbury Park area. I like Asbury Park, don't get me wrong. But sometimes this city seems almost incestuous with people in the gay community playing their own brand of square-dancing with the people in their lives.
And this new guy wants to start hanging out in Asbury Park with me more often. I don't mind and I want him to become acclimated with the city a bit more. But from what I've seen with so many people over the past few years, you bring your guy around and you'd better keep an eye on others. Because they just might pounce on him. And it's not like gay men can walk around holding hands, letting all other men in the city know to back off 'cause this guy is taken already.
Oops, is that my ego talking ... or my self-esteem taking a beating?
Don't take me too seriously, good people. It's just my words and words can't hurt, now can they? :)