It's impossible to get what you want if you never really say what you want

Out about town last night, I stopped into one of the bars in Asbury Park that I frequent.
And I'm glad that I did. It was very enlightening, and I think I may have a handle on what I need to do in my life to reach the next level.
One of my bartender friends gave me a very profound piece of wisdom. He said to me that you're not going to get what you want from these guys unless you start telling the guys what you want from them. And it was pretty profound, because I guess I do have the fear that if I tell someone what I want from them, then they might think they have power over me and turn me down.
Fear of rejection is a powerful force.
It's so weird that sometimes just someone saying something that deep down you already know, it just makes it easier to do what you need to do.
What prompted my friend to offer me this nugget of advice? Well while at the bar I ran into a guy who I've gone back and forth with, toying with the potential of a romantic involvement. And I've held this guy at arms length for some time, because I just don't trust that anyone will be genuine with their feelings towards me. The fact that my potential suitor hasn't made much progress with me could be my own fault because I don't trust guys at the moment.
So me and my potential suitor sat down and had a long conversation about so many things, and we learned a lot about each other and our lives. It was really good to open up to someone who just wanted to get to know me better. And I really should give him the benefit of the doubt; I need to realize that just because SOME guys have let me down doesn't mean ALL guys will let me down.
I guess you've guessed, if you've been following my blog, that I've been hurt and disappointed by men in the past. But I let them hurt and disappoint me. It's time to take that power back and put it into my own hands ... back where it belongs.
So the advice is something I've known for some time, but I was just afraid to acknowledge that I'm okay with expressing what I want because I deserve what I want. And if I don't tell people what I want, I ain't gonna get it.
So I'm going to tell people what I want, and I'm going to start getting what I deserve.
So here I go ...
I want a relationship, and I want someone to shower me with romance;
I don't want the casual sex but I do want the passion that goes into a sexual relationship;
I want guys who are interested in a strong, sensitive black man to approach me correct, because these guys who approach me and find themselves taken aback when they realize I'm not hood, but I am one black man who has intelligence, a successful career, financial stability and I can hold a conversation past "whazzup?" (I mean, really? I've been told that I'm the whitest black man people have ever met ... and they're 100% correct in that assessment);
I want love from a man who doesn't see me as a dollar sign, a bank account with a smile;
I want it all!
So now I've spelled it out, and hopefully things will get better and I'll get what I want.